Owen and the Crazy Fox Machine

February and the Dust Horse

2012-02-07T15:48:00.000-08:00

HELLO!

Just another slightly exhaustive wee round-up of all that's going on in Oville - all wot 'appened in the end of January and at the beginning of Febree-arty.

This is the beginnings of BLAM - A Bristol-based comic creators network. Now, there is a Facebook group but unfortunately I didn't quite realise how much Dr WTF-based work I've set myself so I think I'll push back the main BLAMshove til next month...or the month after. Either way - THERE'S A LOT TO DO. Cheers to Bolt-01 for the logo - !

Owen in Rock 2012 - 80s I by Owen In Rock on Mixcloud

This is the eighties show of Owen in Rock 2012 - still no talking (but I'm working on that) so if you want to know owt about the various tracks thereon go stare at the Owen in Rock blog. What kind of music is it? Well take a look at the picture, that should say more than my feeble typing and annoying overuse of capitals EVER COULD.

THAT also happened. Hilariously. Well, I say hilarious it was actually rather tragic and means I'm stuck with a £15 thing until my contract "can upgrade" next month. What's more tragic is that the £15 thing is generally a lot more functional than that one ever was. Damned kids and their swanky cheap phones...

This Sunday I went to see the seminal MASTODON at Bristol's 02 Academy (nice venue shame about the inevitable £4 pints of cock). I last saw them many moons ago at the Sheffield Corporation and MET THEM beforehand at a pub. Not sure if they could have gotten away with that this time 'round as the Hatchet opposite was RAMMED TO THE GILLS. As was the gig. Mastodon were as frenetic and fabulous as they were then, playing a more varied setlist than before and were generally on TOP CRUNCHY FORM. The were supported by Red Fang, a similarly sludgy Ohiobased outfit that sounded good to my ears and were responsible for that crowd photo up there. I'm not, despite popular opinion, that craggy-haired guy on the left - I was actually lurking with milady at the bar. Unless that IS me from further in the future and I ventured back in time to see the gig again.

GENERAL ART

Here - the newest three parts of Jasmine and I's Jamslug saga. The nineteenth episode being notable (if not for "AIEEEE a being of beautiful jam" and the donut pun) for being drawn faster than I've ever drawn anything!

and here... the ninth page of Flaubert St Cloud... which has been getting some lovely commentary on the 2000ad forums. People are fearing for the goat as WELL THEY MIGHT. Or might they? Jasmine's writing (gloriously free of my tatty art) can be see on Deviantart - she's bloody amazing.

Here are some Kodama from Miyazaki's seminal "Princess Mononoke" which is an absolutely gorgeous film. They're tree spirits and the writing (translated by JAPANESE MASTER Richard Denham) is essentially, I think, the message of the film. Go on, copy and paste that into Google Translate, eh? EH?! yeahhh.

This was my version of "Sherlock" for TAB. I was going to draw Benedict Cumberbatch. I really was. But then, you see, I did not. I'm not terribly good at drawing people who are real you see. Not terribly good at all, and I do like just making armour up. Wik spikey bits.

Here's a birthday picture I drew for the undeniably lovely David Frankum (although I haven't actually met him, he could be THE WORST BASTARD but I feel it's unlikely) - wonderfully he framed it, making him twenty percent more lovely if such a thing IS EVEN FEASIBLE.

Here's another for TAB on the "X-Men" theme - I was going to draw my favourite two mutants from my Marvel-appreciation days (Colossus and Nightcrawler) but instead I didn't. This is Jazz's suggestion as she knows the X-Men well and insists this makes sense, both Thunderbird and Banshee have apparently met their ends whilst ignoring Cyclops. Luckily for them they are characters in a hugely corporate and shallow universe that will resurrect and kill characters at will in a dispassionate bid to get more readers. So if either of them actually are currently dead, you can bet it won't be long until a "universe shattering" event brings them back. ONLY TO KILL THEM AGAIN.

Here's a logo I designed for my mate Paul's band - keep your ear t'ground for those chaps because Paul's as gifted a musician as the day is unreasonably cold. Fans of gritty bluesy rock 'n' roll will NOT be disappointed. Ever.

Well. WELL WELL WELL. The deadline is up for this year's Dr WTF - we've had some bloody gorgeous entries and it's been... well it's been fucking splendid. The comic will appear at Hi-Ex convention and physical copies will be available after that - as well as at Bristol 2012, probably Birmingham, Thought Bubble etc etc. I'm LITERALLY ECSTATIC about selling it. ...and uh, ahem, finishing the lettering.

Here's a teaser for the story I drew in this year's - written by the outstanding Jonathan Whiteley (who wrote Conor Boyle's beautifully drawn "Berlin" from Dr WTF 2011). And below is a taste of Trystan Mitchell and Mike Lynch's Clerical Error. Mike Lynch wrote the strip I drew last year for Zarjaz (published this summer) and Trystan does literally everything - all teasers up to now are viewable on the Dr WTF Facebook page ;)

- !

O

January - widely reported to be the first month of the year...

2012-01-17T16:45:00.000-08:00

HELLO.

It's 2012, when did that happen?! I hope each and every one of you had a wondrous new year - and no one fell down a well and got trapped in a subterranean terror world full of white-eyed millipede people whose thousand scratchety legs caused multiple abrasions.

Because that would be shit.

In no particular order here are some things that have happened this month thus far -

I got a new laptop. It's made everything basically much quicker and small things I never realised I missed (have buttons on the keyboard, being able to use the CD drive, not having it overheat every hour) came flurrying back into my life like a load of cotton bears.

I bought back Owen in Rock - which I did on the radio in Sheffield and Glastonbury in the distant past - it goes up once a week on Mixcloud and there's an accompanying blog that you can follow. There's no talking and no time travel shenanigans but it is a dissection of the music I listen to and bloody love - so go and give it at least a quarter of your ear - ! Also each decade I've superimposed myself onto an album cover, because I'm avoiding doing more important things and I expect I've got some sort of problem.

The quite extraordinary Neil McClements overjoyed the hell out of me by randomly drawing Gastleas; a character from Crabcake. Neil seems to have more talent and time in his little finger than I have in my entire body - he's drawn what will surely be one of the MANY HIGHLIGHTS of Dr WTF (see the Dr WTF Corner) and after this, he's on my fictional Christmas card list which is fictional. He's got the seal of approval to say the least, and I hesitate to remind him that the sealife centre will probably want it back.

I saw two things quite recently - one of which was the The Artist a wonderful silent film that is not-nearly-as-niche as I assumed it was and is winning all sorts of awards left-right-and-centre. Brilliantly deserved and quite preposterously beautiful. With John Goodman. What more do want? TALKING?!

Secondly - I went to watch The Fallen Apples in the depths of Bristol the last weekend and I recommend seeing them if you spot 'em in your corner of the universe. It's furious rural folk at it's most danceable and even without the considerable amount of scrump I would be spellbound with joy.

ART

Bit more Jamella for y'all. Written - of course - by the mysterious (I've not seen her face ever and we've been going out for like, seven billion years, what's the DEAL with that) Jasmine Woods

Also - Flaubert page 8 - the writing on the paper at the top there is from the original layout page by the enigmatic Jasmine. So it's her writing - so SHE loves Flaubert. The final three panels are a little rushed - I hope it's not obvious but now I've said it you'll look at it and go "oh yeah it IS rushed" and you'll hate it forever.

Here's a page sampler of my colouring for Steve & Chris Denton's Massacre for Boys comic - I've since got rid of the annoying glowy-light effect on panels 2 & 3 - I'm building up a colour portfolio and it was amazing working on Steve's lines as he himself is an absolutely dynamite colourizerist (that's the word I've been assured). See the original story and investigate more on the Massacre for Boys blog - !

I did this for the Weekly Themed Art Blog - it was a theme I chose because Ronald Searle died recently and his artwork was a staple of my childhood - we had absolutely tons of his stuff around the house. Lots of cats. Cats in tiny stilettos. Dancing they tended to be. Brilliant and very visionary artist. This cat is drinking champagne as he loved it - "I love to drink it - the bubbles give you ideas"

A fantastic couple of weeks for Dr WTF - the deadline is rushing forward and we've got thirty or so finished pages - ! FEAST YOUR FACE on our latest clutch of teasers...

This one from the amazing (and aforementioned) Neil McClements - a breathtakingly drawn story - written by Chris Cronin who wrote the one I drew for Dr WTF 2011. So he's definitely gone up in the world since then!

Here's one for a short story by Gavin Mitchell - winner of the 2000ad Dragon's Den competition at Thought Bubble and SHIT HOT ARTIST extraordinare!

David Broughton - ! Adam Page - !!! A tale I'm extremely pleased with, David was the last artist in and one of the first to finish and therefore he deserves THE BIGGEST MEDAL THAT IT IS POSSIBLE TO GIVE ANYONE. However I cannot find nor afford such an item. So he will just have to accept my eternal thanks - !

Cheers for reading any-the-how and I will see you soooooOOO (oo) n

Crimbo and That

2011-12-30T08:26:00.000-08:00

'Ey up chuck.

So, Christmas happened. Very pleasurable and full of cidery evenings and MUCH cheese.

Here's just a brief brief (not very brief) rundown of what went on Decemberwise.

Thought Bubble Video
I briefly appeared in one. Weirdly. It was weird.

Thought Bubble film from Anne Holiday on Vimeo.

Did you spot me? Weird eh?! I was speaking to John Burdis in Judge armour.

Bristol Goings-On

Went to see Amplifier in Bristol with milady, didn't I?! IT WAS GOOD, WASN'T IT? Kind of spacey mod-prog with whirling guitars. Better live than I expected and catchier than a sneeze in a lift.

Bought the parentals many Bristol goods for festivus and I can't recommend higher The Bristol Cider Shop, Dr Burnorium's Hot Sauce Emporium (I shit you not) and... well basically the entire of St Nicholas' Market. It's bloody magic.

Other Comics

Two upcoming comics THAT YOU SHOULD KEEP YOUR FACE PEELED FOR. The first is El Bigote by a true comics chap and master of Turtles PJs Matt McLocusts McLaughlin and El Ch-ch-ch-cherry Chivo

Also - the second Vanguard. I have no idea when it's showing up and I believe Mammoth Jack: THE SEQUEL is being drawn by the aforementioned gloryChivo - but I've drawn an art card that'll be given out with it. Featuring the DONKEY FROM HELL.

So look out for that. It'll be Van Domtastic.

Crazy Fox Appearances

Honoured to have my artwork appear in the "Strode College" season planner thing promoting the incredible Pendarves Jenkins Combination. Not sure why but it makes me very happy to see my drawings in there - probably because it's a fixtures guide that's in all the local shops and takeaways and that. Glastonbury folk will look at it and go "WHO DREW THAT SHIT".

Didn't notice it at the time - but the Zarjaz/Dogbreath blog have preview'd my upcoming Tales From the Black Museum strip written by Mike Lynch. "Currently scheduled for Zarjaz 15" so that'll be next summer or thereabouts. Looking forward to seeing it in print!

Not only that - but Futurequake Press has published a story I drew earlier in the year. Written by John Paul Fitch and lettered by the mighty Bolt. If you've not read it I'd really appreciate you giving it a gander over there at the old Futurequake Press Blog.

Weekly Webcomics

Just what you need in those dark and wintry times - more tales from the Jamellabank. Written by the amazing Jasmine Woods. Pleased to report that the script for the entire run has now been completed - so we have a concrete idea of where we're going and how we're going to get there. Hint: It's going to be nuts.

The final (ever?) Time Tale featuring the appearance of Ghostpockets. Who, predictably, destroys the universe. Couldn't have been engineered by a finer chap - ! If you'd like to write a Time Tale give us a shout and we'll construct something!

Here's Flaubert St Cloud page six - and out of interest, here's a close-up of the first panel and a GUIDE to cameos.

From right to left: Lewis Powell, Steev Thulin-Hopper, Neil McClements, Mike Donachie, James Feist, Matt Soffe, Ben Moore and the Burleys.

...and part seven. Do keep your eyes on Crazy Fox Machine on Facebook. For developments and such.

Assorted Art

Drawn for Rich McAuliffe for being my 200th Twitter follower. I've since been asked about the ultimate fate of the unfortunate Moomin. He died a hero - for within him was a T-Rex Bomb (tm) that sploded and took apart the merciless lizard - saving Moominvalley. Shortly afterwards a statue was erected. But the Groke sat on it.

Three panels done for a large collaborative strip written by Dirk van Dom and presented to the 2000ad forum FOR CHRISTMAS. Other parts done by Stephen Prestwood, Filip Roncone, Neil "Bhuna" Roche and Tony Rothwell - can be seen with text in it's entirety here.

Finally - Christmas contributions were capped by this Gronky effort - an idea from forumite "Dash Decent" not Descent. NOT Descent. Whoops.

...and FINALLY...

We've got TWO teasers for you this time around - the first is from Tony Rothwell for his strip written by Blas Bigatti. THAT'S SO CONFUSING THAT IT DESTROYED THE MIND OF OTHER POTENTIAL CONTRIBUTORS.

SECONDLY on christmas I shared a snippet of our sensational cover by a veteran 2000ad artist that I'm still, for some reason, not revealing even though it's pretty obvious - - - stare at this beauty!

Sweet. You'll see the whole thing come March ;)

and I'll see YOU next year. Be lucky!

O x

The Ballad of the Civil War Doctor (Updated)

2011-12-19T11:32:00.000-08:00

It started moons ago, when David Tennant was on the throne. I produced this bit of rot in 2007.

Drawn 2007

"Metal Paul, killer of posers and wearer of denim was overjoyed when he was called back by the beeb with regards to his Whoaudition (hastily organized when David Tennant was killed to death by several angry Whofans who 'really thought the mockney gurning was just getting too much')."

When it was announced that Matt Smith was taking over as the Doctor I saw red - assuming "a romcom in space" type affair might occur. So in 2009 I tried to picture THE MOST HARDCORE Doctor - a battle-scarred veteran of a thousand psychic wars who'd been living on the edge so long where the winds of limbo roar (cheers Moorcock).

Drawn 2008

Here he be (although he's been remastered since observe my standard titles) and I got quite into the idea of him really. He'd nicked the uniform off of an abusive general who had been feeding his troops to an alien of some sort - and his companion was to be a Union soldier (a la Jamie I suppose who is surely the best companion of all time). He then runs into an old enemy - and using a hammer, sorts it the fuck out.

Drawn 2011

After this he grows a beard and meets his former self in the snow - who is shocked, either at the prospect of his own future or the terrible skills of O before he got a graphics tablet and learnt how to letter.

Drawn 2009

After this he gets into a fight with a dinosaur who tries to eat his TARDIS. Also I don't think that's a Civil War uniform anymore... it looks like Jeremiah Phallushamr's uniform. Shit.

Drawn 2011

At some point later in his timeline he adopts a more Otastic purple suit - where he appears in an alleyway de-bearded to confront an implausible action figure from the Ghostbusters cartoon.

Drawn 2010

'TIS WINTER

2011-12-10T06:03:00.001-08:00

Time again for a bit of a round-up and round-about of all the general activity of the last few weeks.

First off it's high time I shared this with you -

The superlative Carl Pearce drew this in response to something I did for him a billion years ago. Absolutely floored. The guy is a genius - he drew the cover for Dr WTF 2011 - click on his name up there and go and give him some love. Crabcake will be back sooner than you can say accurately say hammeltartleboon.

Secondly - I went to see Professor Elemental in Stokes Croft. A very good, if not a slightly messy, evening. Met (and...I think bought drinks for) many a good Bristolian steampunker and admired many a beard. Elemental kicked some arse live as far as I recall. Then suddenly it was the next day and my head hurt. The Elemental comic is coming along well - I look forward to seeing it finished!

Thirdly - a plug for the blog of my workmate Dawn Powell - Subliminal Cheeze. If you've ever REALLY wanted to know what us down-at-heel working archaeologists get up to day-to-day then her odes to cider and in-depth taste tests will answer ALL YOUR QUESTIONS.

ART

Wha-hey. The finale of Time Tale III and the first two parts of IV. The latter was written by the amazing Ghostpockets. Who is a god. If you're interested in writing a Time Tale give us a shout ;)

Parts X & XI of Jamella & Marmalad. You can always catch up on my Facebook page if you'd like. Written by Jasmine - whom I've been officially annoying for two years this month. She also wrote Flaubert - which is ONGOING - >

I did several GIFTS for folk this last fortnight:

This is for Chris Mole - the guitarist in Northern Oak and the guy responsible for the Professor Elemental comic (he's writing all the stories). This is based on a comic idea that he and I were fannying about with in 2007. All about a man's struggles in a future ice age - we're likely to pick it up and run with it again in the future. But until now - savour the sight of a character you don't know bumping into a time-travelling Elemental ;)

This is something that I (partially) drew for Nich Angell - creator of 7String and Cat & Meringue. He's an enormous inspiration and a good chap. His relentless drawing energy inspired me to start up my weekly webcomics which have emboldened my style and sped me up immeasurably. So for this reason I clumsily inserted Jamella into his DAILY Cat & Meringue strip. I'm currently working through the paper editions of it and man 'TIS BEEFY.

Portrait I did of Darren, a machine driver on our archaeological site. There's a mouse on his shoulder and he said his mother was going to frame it. I'm not certain why but I feel rather... well, proud of that really.

*EDIT* Whoops! This is my entry for the 2000ad forum advent calendar -featuring Flaubert, Jamella and a TARDIS. Also Dirty Frank and John Burdis as a judge. I'll be doing more later in the month - but I recommend you take a look, there's some truly astounding stuff on there.

Christmas competition entry for the Rik Mayall Facebook page - if you go and like the picture I might win. It's highly unLIKEly but you might as well, like ;)

So - some very big news this last two weeks. First off, Dr WTF 2011 is now on sale digitally at Lulu and CAN BE YOURS for only two pounds! BUY IT

Secondly - the call for an artist was answered by the wonderful David Broughton (who drew a Spencer Nero tale for last Paragon wot I lettered). Additionally the incredibly talented Gavin Mitchell who won 2000ad's "Dragon's Den" Future Shock competition at Thought Bubble is doing a page for us.

I shit you not. The guy kicks arse. On top of that revelation the COVER now finished and (I'll be brutally honest) IT'S FUCKING AMAZING. Partially all will be revealed as a festive teaser on Christmas day. So keep your eyes on the Dr WTF Facebook page ;)

Finally - here is the teaser for Paul Clark and Dan Bell's story from Dr WTF 2012 entitled "Lights Out"

EXCITED MUCH? See you again just afore Christmas ;)

Thought Bubble 2011

2011-11-23T12:29:00.001-08:00

So Thought Bubble happened. I was very kindly given a little space on the Zarjaz/Futurequake table by the extraordinarily fantastic Mr Dave Evans. We sold a few Dr WTFs and it was a truly fine weekend - for reasons I WILL EXPLAIN

Here's Jazz, Dave and myself - (photo by John Burdis) notice the new DR WTF SHIRT that I've got on. Lawdy it's a beauty. Right, right where to start? Let's do this the only way I know how - ALPHABETICALLY

- Bryan Talbot -

The superlative Talbot (and his computerpaintytacular son Alwyn who was in dire need of sandwiches) were in residence for both days and I made sure to hop over and get a copy of Grandville: Mon Amour from him. He was showing off pages from the third book (in which Toad of Toad Hall is the villain!) and kindly drew me Sarah (le badger) in the front. I don't want to go on about it too much but I shaded her hair at his request. Not because he could see a burning artistic talent within me, not because he wanted to test my skills and declare me MASTER OF SHARPIE but because he wanted to save some time. OR WAS IT.

I also spied that he had The Tale of One Bad Rat on sale - which was my favourite graphic novel when I was growing up (they had that - as well as Watchmen - in my school library but I'd not bought it until now). The final page of which has to be the most beautiful things ever published. I was also drawn a rat in this, although my shading skills were not required.

- Colin MacNeil -

Singularly the nicest man in comics (which is a phrase that is bandied around a lot but I've yet to meet a more receptive and smiley fellow in my VAST convention travels that started this May). More than this I cannot say - but he was selling pages of his original art for £30!!! and have you seen pages of his art? It's like being licked by Jesus.

- Conor & Liz Boyle -

Very happy to see the Dr WTF 2011 contributors (FOR THAT IS WHAT THEY ARE KNOWN FOR) drop by the Zarjaz table and say hi on a few occasions. Not only this but his and (Krill Tro Thargo winner) Rich McAuliffe's Dark Judgement 1 & 2 were selling like hot rockie cake rocks throughout the weekend. I finally picked them up as well and absorbed them both on the train back. Bloody spooky and extraordinarily good. Mr Boyle had a more spectacular TB than anyone else I'd met and had advice and future plans coming out of his ears by the end - you can read more about his adventures over at his blog.

- D'Israeli -

The man known occasionally as Matt Brooker was there - and I dragged my Brumbought copy of his collected Timulo for him to sign. Which he did, then promptly ran off to get his copy of "Ro-Busters" signed by Mike McMahon. Which I'd call wondrously sweet and I was left to ponder the fanboyishness of my heroes. I later gave him a copy of Jazz & I's Flaubert teaser which we were handing out for free over the weekend.

FLAUBERT St CLOUD (GOAT) - Did you get yours? Goat I mean, ignore the cider. Actually never ignore cider.

- Dan Bell -

I met Mr Bell again, a fine young cannibal I MEAN ARTIST who's contributing to Dr WTF 2012 - a strip about a gorilla - Which I will say no more about now. Oh no no no. Check out his art here. He was one of those VERY BRAVE few who submitted stuff to the Tharg's Dragon's Den thing. I wouldnae of had the nads - I mean Matt Smith was over there, and my portfolio was y'know, shite.

- Forumfolk (John Burdis, Pete Wells, Spireite, Dunk, Mike Marshall, Dandontdare) -

What's particularly memorable about all conventions I've been to is putting a face to the avatars that chinwag away on the 2000ad forums. I met, for the first time, the incredible Pete Wells who has his own block in Megacity and the remarkable John Burdis who... well - this is how he was when I met him:

Then he beat up Bolt

Then, for an encore he chatted merrily with Richmond whilst IGNORING Colin MacNeil. Although to be fair that visor doesn't allow for good vision.

By the last day - John had accumulated a vast array of the most beautiful sketches I'd ever seen. Particularly one by Simon Davis - and another by Kev Walker both of whom to my regret I didn't get scrawls from. Although we did have a chinwag with the former who inadvertently wrote his contact details on my sketchbook. Which is kind of like queuing up and getting a beautiful sketch. Kind of. John Burdis owns the Cellar of Dredd - possibly the most imposing collection of Judge Dredd merchandise in the known universe. You can sneak in here.

Some wonderful drinks were had with forumers at The Palace on Saturday night... and... somewhere along the line a Dreddhead drawing contest was initiated. I don't recall what I drew. All I recall was Jazz winning second place and ... Pete Wells drawing nipples. The Boyle's have them now - for bribery purposes.

- Hellraisers -

I picked this up thanks to a recommendation from Liz Boyle and ALSO an old old edition of SFX. The authors were particularly nice and the thing was a barjin. I also got a picture of Peter O'Toole in there - which is no OLIVER REED but then everyone was getting them and I needed people to know through the most obscure medium possible that I was... an original. A wild one.

- Kev Levell -

As if by magic, Levell appeared - he's a fucking fantastic artist by the way - and we had a gurt lovely chat about... well - Kyuss and Pearl Jam really. Comics? Who said anything about comics?! Also, unbeknownst to me, his face was about to crack out the most awesome gurn.

Which, compared to Jazz's helmet attempt, is far more menacing

...happiest judge ever?

- Lee Carter -

John Burdis had got himself a Dredd from Mr Carter and I was compelled to seek him out and rub in his face how annoying I can be. Ever since he appeared in the prog I've been dying to know how he comes out with his amazing stuff. Turns out it's a mixture of scanned-in textures, fine pencils and a FUCKTON of training and talent. Dammit. I've got a scanner and pencils, but that's about it. A Brainblooms story he did earlier this year in 2000ad was about the best thing that the prog has come out with for many a month. MORE CARTER.

- Louis Carter -

Another Dr WTF contributor showed up and I CAUGHT HIS FACE FOR THE FIRST TIME. The wonderfully weird Louis Carter - who is drawing something quite strange for next year's issue.

- Mike McMahon -

So there it was - the reason that D'Israeli rushed off and the corner that everyone in the know rushed to. The legendary McMahon himself was cosied away sketching FOR FREE not selling anything at all. Just being charming and being there. A towering god of art - I found it almost impossible to talk to him - partially because I had one of his covers on my shirt. Why that should be awkward I don't know, but it simply was. Then he drew Slaine.

In my sketchbook. On the reverse of a picture of a cat I'd drawn.

McMahon's Slaine on the reverse of a picture of a cat I'd drawn.

The cat had a jetpack and a top hat on.

- Nich Angell -

The eternally lovely Nich Angell - who is MORE CONVENTION THAN MAN - was there, and I shepherded his new works into my flock... of books. I highly recommend you click on this here and give the bugger a look.

- Peter Doherty -

I'd never met Peter Doherty before. He was nice. What was nicer (not implying he wasn't nice) was a print which I purchased from him and promptly left in Jazz's Sheffield clutches. He signed it. He hadn't drawn the picture but he'd added his soft tones. The picture had been signed by the artist.

The artist was Geof Darrow.

- Steven Denton -

It was also a pleasure to meet small press stalwart Steven Denton - whose amazing linework I'm colouring soonish. Could've done without everyone saying "god Denton's an amazing colourist - who could colour him?!" No pressure. No pressure.

- WJC -

Finally. A man worthy of all the praise known to man. The fantastic, appallingly brilliant Warwick Johnson Cadwell - his art is as vibrant and visceral as you can get and I'm consistantly hypnotised by his work. His comics were cheap but outstanding I very much reckon he's a god.

Thought Bubble was, in short, the best convention I've ever been to. The amount of comic fans who themselves are artists, editors, writers... the amount of artists, editors, writers who are comic fans - the love for the medium is writ large on the faces of all in attendance. It's bloody infectious. It's why I spent all evening writing it all up and it's why I'm flying to Inverness for two days next year. Bolt deserves all the credit for giving me a space and letting me help him out. It was an absolute honour to sell Zarjaz!

ARTWORK

At last - an archaeological edition of Time Tales. Contrary to popular opinion, the bearded fellow is not Matthew Law. Shame shame shame.

The Jammy Flashback is finally over - but there's evil afoot. What has all this got to do with bulldogs, eh? Stay tuned!

FINALLY after an absence of TEN MONTHS Flaubert has returned. Only, y'know - in a vastly different style. Such is the passage of time. I do hope, if you were one who got the first three parts in the freebie, you'll still follow it. Despite the dramatic shift!

For TAB. YES it should technically be "Superbole" but who are you? The grammar police?! What do you want, a medal? Ach! ACH STOP SPRAYING PEPPER SPRAY IN MY FACE. Topical.

A logo for my housemates who are entering "GRILLSTOCK" in which groups of people GRILL without fear of rebuke. Also for competition. Ach! ACH STOP SPREADING PEPPER RUB ON MY FACE.

Finally - here's an image for my friend Pip who keeps owls, hawks, rabbits.. basically every living thing on the entire planet. Naturally I deciphering this as her being some manner of wandering iron-woman style person. It makes sense as much as I make pie. And I'm not making pie, I'm writing a blog.

We've had a good fortnight, us WTFers. Sold quite well at Thought Bubble with still enough issues left for people to buy one RIGHT NOW and have it DELIVERED you want one?! Give me a shout! I may have been able to recruit some lovely new artists - if anyone's interested in doing a one-pager then hurl me a line. Then I'll grab the line, then we'll talk.

Also - the aforementioned Louis Carter and I cooked up this little teaser for his nuts-as-badgers-nuts strip for Dr WTF 2012 -

Right.

Right that's it. It feels like I've been writing this for hou- OH MY GOD IT'S ELEVEN. WHAT THE FUCK WHERE DID MY EVENING GO. DAMN IT I WAS GOING TO DRAW ANOTHER CAT WITH A JETPACK AND TOP HAT.

Halloween etc

2011-11-09T11:51:00.000-08:00

Hello!

Just a run-through of all that went on in the last few weeks - with pictures, hyperlinks and FREQUENT BOUTS OF THIS KIND OF THING.

First off, I bought a table for Bristol 2012 - it crippled the budget a little but it's where Dr WTF emerged last year, it cemented my conviction to move to Bristol and it seemed to contain an astrological alignment of awesome folk. Worth every penny I think.

The drawn-on moustache can only mean ONE THING! Halloween happened. Due to some accidental glasses ridiculousness and budgetary constraints (see previous paragraph) it was a fairly indoorsy weekend but there was much cider consumed and SATIRICAL PUMPKINS WERE USED AS PUNCHBOWLS.

Over the Halloween period I got two superior guitar-based gigs in as well. The first was John Fairhurst, a steel-guitar botherer and supremely talented fellow who I absorbed in a local pub - much to my own surprise. The second was Anna Calvi - with all sparse riffy atmospherics and that. In an old church. ON HALLOWEEN. Spooky. All credit to Ann Marie(?) and the unparalleled Mullendo for dragging me along to both!

Afore I get on to art pimping do support STRIP magazine - a new British anthology (we need more of those) featuring PJ Holden, John Ridgway, John McCrea etc with SUPERIOR lettering throughout from the superlative letterer Jim Campbell! Go on. They've brought back Hookjaw.

ART

Hohoho The finale to the second ever Time Tale. HILARIOUS, isn't it? No? You do better - write me a three-part time tale and I'll do it. Go on. I DARE YOU.

The sixth and seventh parts of Jamella and Marmalad - observe the first defeat of the Jammy Dodger and the first appearance of Jamella's parents! HOW CURIOUS. We are lodged in a jammy flashback. All due nods to the beautiful Jazz Woods wot writes 'em!

Ah! The third part of Flaubert St Cloud (Goat) - a FREE teaser of which will be available at Thought Bubble this year. The art is a tad out-of-date. BUT OH WELL ;) If you see me or Jazz then shout us down and you'll 'ave it.

A non-existent cover for a non-existent comic that no-one is interested in - back to the drawing... bed. You'll be pleased to hear I won't be doing any more of these non-collaborative hero-bating things again - it's ultimately just disappointing. Tis much more rewarding to just please yourself. Ignore the innuendo and let us continue!

Here's a skeletal facsimile of Locusts of Death - forthcoming editor of an 'orror comic and jobbing small press writer extraordinare. DO check out his collaboration with Ghostpockets in the free horror comic Hallowscream. It fucking beggars the mind.

Don't have nightmares.

A birthday image for my friend Sophie - featuring her INCREDIBLY POPULAR Sherlock shirt design - and Matt Smith.

Here's some fantasy heads also - from a project that will never happen. C'est la wotsit.

NOW IT'S TIME FOR...

And what an entry we have for you this fortnight, the FIRST OFFICIAL teaser, a BIT OF PLEADING and THE RAMBLINGS OF A MADMAN.

Ain't she a beaut?! From a special little tale by David Frankum. What a lovely man.

Secondarily - we need artists. If you've not got involved thus far and you think you can do three or five pages for the 1st of February deadline... I NEED YOU.

:THE BALLAD OF THE CIVIL WAR DOCTOR:.

It started moons ago, when David Tennant was on the throne. I produced this bit of rot in 2007.

Here he be (although he's been remastered since observe my standard titles) and I got quite into the idea of him really. He'd nicked the uniform off of an abusive general who had been feeding his troops to an alien of some sort - and his companion was to be a Union soldier (a la Jamie I suppose who is surely the best companion of all time). After this he grows a beard and meets his former self in the snow - who is shocked, either at the prospect of his own future or the terrible skills of O before he got a graphics tablet and learnt how to letter.

Immediately after this he gets into a fight with a dinosaur who tries to eat his TARDIS. Also I don't think that's a Civil War uniform anymore... it looks like Jeremiah Phallushamr's uniform. Shit.

At some point later in his timeline he adopts a more Otastic purple suit - where he appears in an alleyway de-bearded to confront an implausible action figure from the Ghostbusters cartoon.

WHAT OH WHAT WILL THE FUTURE HOLD FOR THIS IMPLAUSIBLE NON-CANONICAL DOCTOR? IT'S UP TO YOU. Also the Weekly Themed Art Blog as I've decided I'm going to slot him into everything I do for them now. Ahahahahaha.

Mid-October Goings-On

2011-10-24T11:43:00.000-07:00

Steve Padfield

An occasional barman at my eternal local - The Rife's - Steve was killed in a motorbike accident at the beginning of the month. He was a bloody lovely man and I'll miss him terribly. One evening in the pub, after a staff party I think, Steve enthusiastically drew a tattoo-style tribute to our hallowed drinking hall in one of my old sketchbooks. When I next return home I'll find it and give it to them. Terribly sad - a good barman is never forgotten.

Hill Fort Wedding
It was a nice day for one. So there was one. There are pictures, but I don't know where they are. M'colleague Dr John Davey was getting married (to his wife) and it was all SOMERSET THEMED. So verily, there was a living tonne Burrow Hill cider and the fields around Cadbury castle did ring with merry laughter and the familiar sounds of barn dancing. For there was a barn dance.

Thought Bubble 2011
Got my tickets for this - so me and the lady are going to be getting our comic clogs on with an armful of Dr WTFs, a portfolio or two, several business cards and enough money for drinks and copious issues of small press anthologies. Sadly we won't have a table but something will be arranged. I won't say much, I'll just leave it at this:

ICN Awards

Have YOU voted yet?! Thought not - go here and do so

Recommendations (WINK WINK)

Dirk Van Dom and Vanguard

(Best Self-Published Irish Writer, Best Irish Self-Published Comic, Best Overall Comic)

Dirk is the editor (and only writer) of Vanguard, whose first issue I drew Mammoth Jack for - a wonderful new anthology and worth supporting. I'm in the next one in a limited capacity - unfortunately time, like pies, got the best of me.

Mike Lynch

(Best Self-Published Irish Writer)

Mr Lynch wrote my upcoming Zarjaz tale (more details of that incoming) and has written a wee strip for Dr WTF?! 2012 which Trystan Mitchell is illustrating and which is CLEARLY GOING TO KICK ARSE.

Michael Carroll

(Best Mainstream Irish Writer)

Seen here talking to some sort of sheep thing on Irish television, Michael writes Judge Dredd occasionally writes lots of good books, and DESIGNED THE DR WTF LOGO (for which, I gather, he's winning the award).

Othello & Ouroubouros
Went to Sheffield. Seem to go to Sheffield a lot less these days. Probably because I don't live there anymore. It's a contributing factor. When I did go I saw two MARVELLOUS O-related things... and I'm not talking about my FANTASTIC EARS.

Othello with Dominic West and Clarke Peters (the best actor alive). Look at them there. It was incredible.

T'other was Uroborus, a sort of Sheffield-centric writery picturey poetry type book that was launched by my good friend Martin Collins the day after I left. Yerk. - Check it out, I've done a picture in there. Looks like that picture up there.

Halloscream
A 'yon while ago I drew a strip for this horror anthology - they're looking for funding. In exchange for a tenner you get an anthology and THE GRATITUDE OF A SMALL PRESS EDITOR. Let me tell you that's worth thousands. Thousands of millions. Help 'em out they're good dudes

Elemental Pluggery
I start work on the Elemental comic soon enough and the chap himself gave us a wee plugnudge on his site - my fingers are itching to go on it but I've got a few special somethings to do first ;)

O's Time Tales
Below are the three Time Tales you've missed - click on the title back there for the full four. The latest arc contains a cameo from the astounding Al Hilton. Who was the 100th like of the Crazy Fox Machine facebook page :D

Jamella & Marmalad

Parts Three to Five - including Nich Angell's favourite sound effect. Clue: It's not "Splotch"

Other Stuff

FAQ: Did this ever happen in Star Trek? Probably not, it's just what came into my mind.

Do you hate Star Trek? No. I just imagine the crew of the 60s Enterprise to be cyclops-haters

Is this the Harryhausen Cyclops from Sinbad? No. This one is blue and in space.

Image for Glastonbury-based credit union. For three reasons

A) I sold out B) They paid me C) I love drawing thugs

Last night I spent all evening on a mission to please Mark Gatiss - his edition of Desert Island Discs was so sweet and touching it made me hungry to make him happy. Instead I punished him by taking an idea he was toying with and making it look like the first in a series of Doctor Who childrens books. Drawn by an idiot.

It's been a nice few weeks for Dr WTF - we've been reviewed by the wonderful Rich McAuliffe at Everything Comes Back to 2000ad who describes us as "like Doctor Who meets the old Revolver comic" - which is pretty fucking special. Cheers Rich - ! We also got a wee mention on the seminal Small Press, Big Mouth podcast around 34 minutes in. We confuse the wondrous Stacey Whittle - but she likes the art. WHICH IS THE IMPORTANT THING. Also hearing my blurb read out in a Geordie accent is like being snogged by Jesus. Warm.

In terms of creator news we've had some stuff in from BIRTHDAY BOY Louis Carter whose story with Greg Meldrum in 2012 is going to be THE MOST DISTURBING THING YOU'VE EVER READ.

There are still plenty of physical and digital copies of Dr WTF 2011 to be had - you get a free sketch with digital ones and - it's only two quid! Physicals are a fiver including postage. AND THEY HAVE SPINES.

That's my mid-October - I'll see you after the great Bristol zombie walk - !!!

O x

The Dark and Sinister Rise of Thrice-Weekly Comics

2011-10-04T16:02:00.000-07:00

...I have, at some point in the last fortnight, lost my FLIPPING MIND.

That is - I took it upon myself (thinking mistakenly perhaps I was a figure of extreme brain activity and talent) to start a weekly webcomic. Not too difficult, you might scoff. ONLY I'M GOING TO DO TWO.

No, not two. Three. Just for a lark. To ease me into this diabolical shamble of a plan the midweek will, for a few weeks at least, be repeats. THEN IT WILL BEGIN. Soon I'll be shackled to the desk. Grunting like a shot dog crawling over rusty nails - my quivering hand sweaty palmed on graphics tablet pen. Fused to my mind the two STATIC in unbelievable GRINDING IMMOBILITY.

Jamella & Marmalad - Mondays

So the first one is about a jam slug. It was created one ecstatic morning at work, where for reason beyond reason my BETTER HALF and I decided that a jam slug would be the best possible thing we could create a world around. First two are below.

Crabcake/Flaubert - Alternating Wednesdays

In amongst the various follies and adventures of my 2011 daydream psychedelic Bristol mash I have rather let two of my most beloved projects slip gently and rather sadly to the wayside. NO MORE. I've picked them up, I've shaken them out. Crabcake will start repeating, and it'll take a jolly long time to get up to speed but I hope it'll generate some renewed interest because at the end of the run I'M GOING TO PRINT THE FUCKER.
That's right. The same goes with Flaubert - except the new stories will come much quicker and be printed much later on but gollyblimey it'll be a lark. Another project (if you're not aware) that was conjured by my more favourable quadrangle of self.

O's Time Tales - Fridays

Yeah. I've long since had an affair with traversing time. Glorious and a bit of a lark - eh wot? These'll come in three or four parts. And they'll be weird. Some of them will have jokes. Some won't - and they'll all concern time travel of some kind.

You can see all of this stuff AS IT HAPPENS on Wordpress.

Why if it isn't Harry Heston - Apejudge extraordinare and star of the original 2000ad fanzine Class of '79. Created by Jake Lynch & Stewart Crofts-Perkins with art by the ever-lovin' blue-eyed Flint. The magazine was a forerunner of Zarjaz, which I've just completed a five-pager for.... long may the fanzines roll!!

Yes yes yes - bark and whatfor. Doctor WTF 2012 is progressing very well, with a potential cover artist OF HIGH REGARD and a cameo from 2000ad characters! I'll share with you two sketches of the Doctor from two of the new artists from next year's issue: Filip Roncone and Trystan Mitchell.

In Dr WTF 2011 news, the website was directing e-mails to a false address. So - I mean, if anyone ordered anything I didn't get it. Unfortunate, but it's working now so if you used it - do so again!

Will return - keep watching Wordpress and the Dr WTF Facebook page for live developments - !

O x

Rejections and Future Projects

2011-09-20T15:21:00.000-07:00

Good evening,

It's been a wonderful fortnight and very productive so much so my poor Wacom exploded (it didn't but it did irreparably break). The majority of the time was spent traversing the beautiful scenery of Snowdonia park - staying in a little cottage out near Barmouth. A lot of cider was consumed, and a great deal of stuff got drawn. I even finished me and Mike Lynch's Zarjaz strip which was a hell of a relief! Not sure when it'll be out but I'll keep ye posted. EVEN IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

FAILED AUDITIONS

This here is a mouse with a bazooka, an audition for a CCG that didn't come to pass. Unfortunate as it seemed like a lark - had great fun cooking this up and FOR once (it shows) I didn't use any references at all.

This one was for a kid's book. I won't let you in on the specific plots for fear of upsetting the editor. Safe to say it's a damned shame but it would have been a hell of a lot of work. Any practice is good practice though - !

MISCELLANEOUS JAMMERY

This here is a blast from the past. A late night Sinister Dexter sketchy

doodle thing that is a re-interpretation of this thing

from way back when (I think 2004 maybe). I was always fond of drawing those two despite the fact the actual strip has, over the years, grown rather dull. Plus Anthony Williams' art makes me want to tear out my eyes and then bury them.

Here's a little something something for The Weekly Themed Art Blog whose theme this week was "bugs and whatnot" - the idea of big massive things with tons of legs terrifies me. The don't even seem alive somehow, just horrible collections of nasty. I think I'm near to being over spiders (I live near a tarantula these days and I've come to regard it as being quite sweet) but SPIDER CRABS and those huge cave millipedes drive me out of my mind with fear. Spindly legs...crawling.... ANYWAY - this is partially inspired by a Sliders episode (I KNOW) that always bugged me out (EXCELLENT PUN) as a kid where a giant bloody wasp got on someone's back and the guy was all like WTF THIS WASP IS MASSIVE ARGH and then everyone was like WE'RE GOING TO ANOTHER DIMENSION THIS ONE IS SHIT.

So here it is - the teaser for a new project starring (and officially endorsed by) Professor Elemental. It's written by The Mole and will be drawn by myself, James Feist, Liam Byrne and Noah Rodenbeek with a potentially secret cover from an EISNER-AWARD WINNING ARTIST WHO WON AN EISNER AWARD PRESUMABLY FOR BEING SUCH A RUDDY GOOD ARTIST.

Finally - here is a play written on Facebook for shits and giggles this past Saturday. I love writing tiny plays. I want to write a tiny play every day for the rest of my life. I'm not going to though, I'm probably going to draw.

The curtain rises, the stage is laid out like the interior of a train. It's the "Quiet Zone" - there are large signs everywhere to emphasise this. There is a long-haired man of fluffy chin and podgy belly who has a head like a crushed baby. He sits drawing and contemplating the miriad daily anxieties which make the world spin.

Opposite him is a young gangster-type, restless and clothed in Nike. He is on the phone. He does speak in that humorous "yoof" manner that Radio 4 finds so compelling - but I won't write his dialogue that way because I'm not a cretin. This man is named Big Harold.

Big Harold: Yes, Stephen - I would like you to bring the Gucci belt to the party this evening. Because it makes me look very attractive to young ladies.

Pause

Big Harold: Yes, of course they like it when you dress like that. Women love stylish men and I am a stylish man because I have a Gucci belt.

Enter Patricia, she is a large middle-class woman who drinks wine I expect. Her husband is also with her - a nervous sheep of a human with an expression of permanent bleh. She sits opposite Big Harold and begins to fret and cluck in the way most people who complain loudly down their noses at everyone else does.

Big Harold: - YES GUCCI IS IN STEPHEN I READ IT ON TELETEXT

Patricia: Excuse me young man but this is the quiet carriage you can't use your phone in here - !

Big Harold: Shut up, bitch

Patricia recoils

Patricia: You can't talk to me like that, my father was once friends with the nephew of a lawyer! How dare you!

The long-haired artist has gone wide-eyed and is looking (more) nervous. It is now that the ticket man arrives; a weary middle-aged man with glasses and one of those machines wot does tickets. His name is Ticketerio.

Patricia: Here, conductor! This man is being abusive to me!

Big Harold: Shut up, bitch

Ticketerio: You can't talk to her like that sir, and you're not allowed to be on your phone in here.

Big Harold rises, indignant.

Big Harold: Why NOT?! It's a free country, I can speak to who I like where I like! This bitch isn't asleep, I'm not doing anything to offend her on my phone.

Patricia: How dare-

Big Harold: Shut up! What is wrong with you people?

Ticketerio: This is the Quiet Zone, sir. You have to be quiet in here.

Big Harold, still standing - is now in a state of outrage

Big Harold: What is that?! How was I supposed to know that?! It says that nowhere in here.

It's at this point the artist rises shakily to his feet, passing Big Harold (who politely steps aside) and the curtain comes down, with the three still squabbling (the actors can ad lib this bit - although I'll need to have them run it past me - I did a production of Under Milk Wood in Hull New Theatre 1994 and the cast began chirriping like crickets - I have no idea why, that's actors for you). The longhair steps through the curtain to address the audience.

Longhair: Seriously this happened to me today. Yes there was some liberties taken with names and dialogue, and the whole thing was much longer and the gangster chap broke into song but the principal thing was the same. The most worrying thing was, that when I stepped off the train - another young fellow who was in the same carriage ran up to the confrontational colin and CONGRATULATED him. On standing up to the man. On shouting down the snooty lady. Weird, eh? Why did I decide to write it out as a play - ? Because it unnerved me. It unnerved me and I'm the kind of person who would rather write a small play than unpack dirty laundry.

He walks back to the curtain, and just as he is about to dissappear he turns to the audience again

Longhair: Who was the real antagonist in this drama?

Exit Longhair

Patricia's Husband (Off-Stage): IT WASN'T ME

Brum 2011

2011-09-06T01:47:00.000-07:00

The second convention that Dr WTF showed up at this year - and it went spiffingly. Despite the cost for a single day's selling me and co-seller Jazz (pictured below - flogging tons more copies than have ever been sold) did alright!

We also got some gorgeous sketches from passers-by - and I drew POWERGIRL for Jatinder Ghataora's POWERGIRL COLLECTION OF POWERGIRLS.

Also so did Jazz -

Oh dear.

Now some words on folks and comics that you should LOOK AT and BUY:
Dave Evans - Futurequake/Zarjaz/Dogbreath

King of the small press, Mr Dave Evans occasional acts as my Dr Cox-style mentor into the wondrous world of small press. I cannot recommend any other anthologies higher for sheer variety and over-the-wall out-the-shed through-the-garden over-the-other-wall silliness. Everyone I love are in 'em - including (but not limited to) my Bristol tablemate Dave Thomson - the ever-lovin' James Feist - "The Nicest Man That's Dave Frankum" Dave Frankum - with covers by Alex Ronald and Neil Ford. BUY IT

Nich Angell - 7 String/Cat & Meringue

The incredible 7 String (a musical epic) and the CONSTANT Cat & Meringue are products of the glorious Nich Angell. A man who so doggedly conventions it I can barely conceive of the material that powers him. Awkwardly positioned opposite the queue for Dave Gibbons at Brum this year but with A LOVELY BANNER and doodling Cat & Meringue live. I recommend passing him a visit and buying his stuff and TOUCHING HIS FACE.

D'Israeli - SVK/Timularo/Lazarus Churchyard/Low Life/Scarlet Traces/Leviathan/etc etc etc

My absolute hero - the LIVING GOD OF SPACE (ALSO COMICS). Mr Matt Brooker was sharing a table with the fabulous Ian Edginton (who is gloriously mixing all of his stories running in 2000ad into one massive continuity cake which I hugely approve of). I'd never met him before so I spent an embarrassing amount of time near him trying to grab his face - I also purchased SVK (a comic with a UV torch and hidden speech bubbles and a collection of early works called Timularo). He also did a sketch for Dr WTF. Oh yes.

Wayne Hughes - Carrot Graphix/Sabre

A chap I met on the train up from Bristol who rather embodied the spirit of the convention for me. Enthusiastic friendly and talented as the working day is long. I recommend you check him out and I look forward to his contribution to Dr WTF 2012 ;)

Other glorious folk - Matthew Soffe, Dunk Nimmo, Carcass & Slime -

Dr WTF will only be at Thought Bubble in a limited capacity, although I will be there with my portfolio and business cards and I WILL STICK THEM DOWN YOUR FACE. SERIOUSLY. EAT IT.

O x

Crazy Train

2011-08-05T02:16:00.000-07:00

Apologies for another long bloggap (or blap) as I've been busy. MOVING TO BRISTOL. AND TRYING TO GET MONEY FOR ART.

It's not easy - hey hey do you want to pay me to draw?

Passer-By: No! Who are you?

I'm Owen!

Passer-By: No. Please leave.

DENIED.

Anyway, so here's the lowdown on what's been going on artwise for the last month - not a massive amount as I have been organising many things.

Jams for TAB

Bespin. That city wot occasionally clouds it. Possibly one of the most evocative designs in the Star Wars universe. Along with the unseen cavern cities of Alderaan. Sweet.

Syndrome. Central baddie from "The Incredibles" which is MY FAVOURITE FILM POSSIBLY OF ALL TIME. Brad Bird ain't fakin'.

Dr WTF tomfoolery

Sketches for Digital Dr WTF buyers Lanie, Dgym & Matt - cheers you sexy bunch. First is a leprechaun under pursuit (doesn't look much like a leprechaun whoops) second is the Doctor asride his TARDIS lassooing a dragon (doesn't look much like that whoops) and the final is Matt as a sort of loveable Twindie Doctor ;)

Birthday gift for my main man Chris Nolan-Rennie, illustrator of Dr WTF 2011's "From One God to Another" - This is a continuation of the story in the sense that the kryptonite Dalek is getting whupped.

Crabcake IV

Sadly I've decided to partially abandon dear Crabcake for the wild abandons of other projects. Sob - I do love it but I have no time to love it y'dig?

Right that's it. Back to the drawing board!

O x

Anne Neggen

2011-07-03T01:46:00.000-07:00

Well...that was a long gap.

That's June for you; filthy filthy month with all it's doings. Grim I call it - TIME FOR A ROUND-UP

Norts vs Southers for TAB - a bit of a sketch really. Although I've never drawn either before, whey!

Drawn by Lorenzo Fiorini and coloured by me - which has been done before. I do enjoy colouring other people's stuff!

Challenged by the superlative Emperor after a request for sketch ideas on Tumblr went awry and it became apparent that I'd invited requests for nude hobos. Dirty Frank is from "Low Life" which is currently drawn by my favourite artist in the history of the world.

This is another clutch of digital doodles for digital purchasers of Dr WTF?! The image in the centre is "Stringer Bell at the Earth's Core" an idea that still causes me vast happiness by Ben Clark. You can still buy digitals or reserve physicals but there's no more appropriate method than contacting me personally at this point. SORRY. Also there's big news regarding my haphazard anthology - see below!

Remastered version of an old image that I'm quite fond of for TAB. But it does raise a VERY IMPORTANT question. Did the Red Baron travel in time?

No. It's not likely.

Pete Townshend. Who's songwriting skill, energy and vast capacity for pretentiousness is unsurpassed.

Batman floating in Nega Space. Another shameless rehashing of a years-old image that I've always liked. He looks fucking ridiculous. Silly Batman.

Here's a bit of a thing - image for Weston Super-Mare based alternative studios "Kewsound" ran by Jack, what a nice chap. The image was my thought and (again - god I've got no imagination) is based on a much older idea.

Finally here's a bit of a GROVELLING TRIBUTE to my fellow small-presser and bit-of-a-legend Nich Angell - it was a drunken idea and the joke was meant to be much funnier. It just didn't come out that way LOL. You can find Cat & Meringue over here.

Glastonbury

Just a few words on this year's festival - which was possibly the most exhausting experience of my miniature life. I went in with no plans and got what I deserved. Knackered. Although it was my lady Jazz's first visit and I'd hope that she enjoyed it. Even though a lot of it was staring at a crumpled fat person sweltering in the heat. There was also a hell of a lot of japery including (and not limited to)

- A jolly tree pirate

- Witnessing the legendary BB King, Duane Eddy & Angelos Epithemiou.

I still actually have to decipher many anecdotes and experiences from a web of tired hallucinations and fevered dreams that I had whilst on site. So stay tuned for more.

Remastered Crabcake

Oh yes I've remastered all parts of Crabcake. Which basically involved making sure everything was the same size and the lettering was at least vaguely correct, and MAJORLY REWRITING sections so that it made more sense and doesn't sound so bloody stupid. This is all gearing up to attempting to flog it for tuppence at Birmingham/Leeds. See them (receiving a rapturous reception) here

Dr WTF Submissions

Yes it's that time again - Submissions are open for Dr WTF! Get your thinking caps on, send me some stuff - !

- - Guidelines - -

"It must be about Doctor Who.

But not as you know it. A one-off adventure for an alternate Doctor - no canon, no arcs, no melodrama, no familiar faces - as surreal and as a curious as you can make it. Returning writers must come up with a new Doctor - NO ARCS I SAY!

Writers: One to five pagers - with a summary included. Deadline ISN'T the first of September but that IS when I'll be sending stuff off to artists, so aim for that. I shouldn't imagine I'll be taking stuff beyond October.

Artists: Register your interest with me, I'll send you scripts that suit you. Or I won't, I might just LAUGH AT YOU AHAHAHAHAHAHA*

*this isn't likely.

If you want to work with someone in particular then run it past me first, I'm not reluctant to put people in the same teams they were last issue but I must stress we won't be going with the same Doctors. "

!!!!!

For the Greater Stewart of Lee

2011-06-05T01:29:00.000-07:00

Good day!

Well no, it is rather a bruised and battered day for your scrumpy-loving author. It turns out balance is the first thing to go when full of cider - who knew? Anyhow - it's been a relatively active fortnight - the major thing being a journey up to London courtesy of the miraculous Jazz where we observed:

- a three-hour Stewart Lee live marathon

- a duck

- jars full of foetuses next to a gift shop
- real-life ACTUAL mods

- a talking plastic tree

- extreme coincidence

Anyway - on with the art!

"Peak Fighters" a thing I did for TAB describing the noble art of battlin' up the top of stuff. Entirely digital and with some sneaky sneaky textures in there TO EMPHASIZE STUFF. Moon was originally going to be yellow but I think I thought the weird peaks and the yellow moon looked a little too much like an image from Nightmare Before Christmas. So I redified it.

Drawn by the fantastic Lorenzo Fiorini and coloured by me. There's still a touch of the 'gaudy' about it (the colouring that is) and I'm really not happy about the hair. Sigh. I'm doing another for him shortly - here's hoping I can improve on the things I'm not 100 percent about. Colouring is fun.

Digital sketches done for the various buyers of the digital version of my cosmic anthology, Dr WTF. If you're interested in a PDFtacular roam through time and space give me a shout and some pounds (two) and I'll also do you a doodle of your choice. Sound good? TO ME IT SOUNDS AMAZING.

Finally something done for Laurelio and the Sheffield anarchists. Neat. Although not my idea. Nor are the book covers my own. AND I DIDN'T CONSTRUCT THAT FONT. I'm a fraud!

Next fortnight you'll probably finding me moving to Bristol and preparing for (or coming back from) Glastonbury festival. Glorious.

Bristol

2011-05-19T11:01:00.000-07:00

G'day you exceptionally gorgeous blog-reader you,

It's been an incredible fortnight AND A BIT as I've done several noteworthy things

- drawn some stuff

- sold my comic at Bristol International

- officially aged another year

- recorded the last Owen in Rock

First, let's just catch up with what my orrible hands and mind have been collaborating on, NORMALLY WITHOUT ME NOTICING.

This is, clearly, Dredd in the guise of Raymond Briggs's The Snowman. For the 2000ad art competition of May which involves interpretations of 2000ad characters as children's books. You can check the rest of the entries here - WARNING: The majority are better than this.

Here is something for phenomenal cat and extraordinary teacher of piano Richard "The Jenk" Jenkins - who recorded a new song with reputable man-about-town Dan Shandy ....

Movement by Crazyfoxmachine

By the way, it should be noted that the idea of a keyboard zebra or Zeyboardebra (?) was thought up by my girlfriend Jasmine, who literally comes up with everything interesting.

More from the Jenk, who is the nicest man in Glastonbury - him and the extraordinarily effervescent Amie Pendarves have a jazz group goin' on and I recommend it for those not afraid of joyous soul, funk and jazzy boogie.

Little wild west image for the immutable TAB. Constructed entirely digitally and with a cheeky texture flung in there to make it look INTERESTING.

Crabcake... returning... MY DOK. What do you mean you've never read Crabcake, ARE YOU MAD?! I can't help you with your growing insanity but I can fill in your Crabcake needs.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Here, the partial fruits of my Spring Slog - page one of MAMMOTH JACK for Van Dom's Vanguard anthology. Look out for that showing up in the future. Click on those words to find the full image of the thing. Gorgeous. The script that is.

Finally - the cover of my portfolio that sat gamely on my table at the Bristol comic con.....

Here is Dave Thomson & I - flogging our wares and looking extremely sceptical. Bristol was my first comic event as a seller (his too) and I was entirely terrified. My travelling companion was Chris Nolan-Rennie, an artist in Dr WTF and a thoroughly excellent man. This weekend was entirely about slotting myself awkwardly into a glorious scene that I've been on the outskirts of for a billion years. The last time I went to a convention (and it was Bristol) it was 2001 and I was fourteen. Ten years later, I was there with my comic under my arm and a tardis full of jelly babies...

FRIDAY

I bumped straight into Dr WTF contributor Mike Bunt (artist of "The Secret of Comedy") and his extraordinary posse - and I proceeded to sit there and babble away as if I was watching the end of the world through a telescope. Overawed but powerless. The lettering machine Jim Campbell was the first to approach and say hello - seeing his bluntness on the forum made me anticipate severe grumpiness but he was extraordinarily chatty and had much to say on the hot topic of the "Crossbar I" in lettering. I'd never had an involved discussion about lettering comics before. This was a brave new world. A brave new world and a bar more expensive than Dubai. Seriously, each round seemed to cost about eighty percent more than I anticipated. I hate you Ramada. It was then I spied Richmond Clements and decided to run up to him excitedly (because a man who's flown down from Scotland needs noobs all up in his face). He introduced me to his chatting companions - Michael Carroll and John Higgins. URG. Michael Carroll, who designed the Dr WTF logo (as well as writing a recent run on Judge Dredd and a series of excellent books - seriously, click on his name back there), was charming and disarmingly interested in my tiny little small press anthology. Mr Higgins was involved in a conversation with Mr Clements about some such but I was so incredibly in the deep end of starting to feel quite overawed that I slunk (?) away to the bar to buy another seven billion pound drink. So overawed was I then that I instantly forgot my pin number and near locked my card. Out to the smoking area with me, where I had an animated discussion with NatWest. A familiar man watched me throughout as I explained "I had forgotten my pin number out of excitement". Only when the mess had been sorted and I wandered aimlessly back to Bunt and co did I realise it was Henry Flint. Balls. The night wore on - and the long-travelled Mr Thomson and his companion arrived (from SCOTLAND). I believe I met ... Dandontdare - ? I think - it became a slight blur. The final unfortunate comic thought (before taxi, garlic bread, and a hell of a lot of pin-number guessing ensued) was willing myself to talking to Bryan Talbot at the bar. I was under the impression I would wing it and it would work - however my mouth produced ultragash and all I said was that he was very good - and then proceeded to list everything I owned by him - followed by a reinstatement that he was very good. Gracious he was, although terrified was I.

Saturday

After a brisk start my companion & I made our way to the con and sheepishly put together our table - cue alternate view - !

It was... amazing, to say the least. Rooms stuffed with artists, writers, floggers - all vying for attention, appreciation and sales. Costume'd gadabouts trawled the walkways - in all manner of guises -

Who goes that far and doesn't bother wearing a wig? That's a level of non-commitment I'm not even willing to think about. We sold a lot of Dr WTFs that day - thanks to the astounding level of artwork and the extraordinary loveliness of 2000ad forum folk. The most interesting purchase was to Johnny "I'm David Knight" Alpha (Writer of Dr WTF's "Quarry Planet") ...

Those aforementioned boarders mostly congregated around a table hosted by these lovely folk -

My two mentors - Mr Dave Evans & Mr Richmond Clements - editors of Dogbreath, Futurequake & Zarjaz - the premier British small press anthologies. Mr Evans was the man who gave me my first constructive criticism - and commissioned me to appear in Futurequake way back in...

*works it out*

the past. Don't click on that!!! Needless to say, he's the reason I was sat at the table down the way and flogging my own stuff. A glass raised to the man - as long as it's within his limit!

The sketches I got that day were from Kev Crossley - a supremely underrated bod who's portfolio brimmed with all manner of glorious physical goodness. I mean, the WHOLE THING was hand-drawn.

After the show, Chris & I took our ill-gotten gains into Bristol - seeking cider! We supped mightily at The Apple and The Orchard - finding many excellent apple-tinted beverages. Also we bumped into an extraordinary bistro, some fantastic houseboats and Aardman animation studios - before raggedly returning to the Ramada bar close to midnight. A lot of the big names had depleted after Azerbaijan's now-famous victory and only the dedicated remained. Bunt and a reduced posse, a slightly-squiffy but still-terrifying Bryan Talbot, a knackered Clements & Evans - The wonder group of that evening were LIZ & CONOR BOYLE, KERRIN and THE EMPEROR. Liz and Conor are extraordinarily lovely folk and contributors to Dr WTF (Liz wrote 'Canine' Conor drew 'Berlin') - Kerrin is a hilarious boardman who looks like an amazing mix between Eddie Izzard and Oliver Reed - The Emperor (Dr WTF writer of "The Secret of Comedy") stood as sober witness to the dregs of an evening where many MANY a man was presumed to be Charlie Adlard and I backed out of an impromptu meeting of great writing minds (Cornell, Ewing & Williams) I MUST DASH. More pizza, more taxi and a tiny bit of Doctor Who before sleep took poor Chris & I.

Sunday

Apart from this sight, Sunday was a slow and sober affair. Barely any Dr WTFs were sold and browsers were pensive or uninterested. Such as it was - I spent most my time harvesting sketches of Doctor (s) from fellow panellers - you can see the results over on the Doctor WTF Facebook group . My eternal regret is that I didn't get a Doctor from Sean Phillips who WAS JUST OVER THERE - and from Nich Angell who was super lovely and basically a bit of a con beast. Coneast?

The primary thing I've learnt is that - SKETCHING IS HARD. Dave Evans asked that I drew my Anderson (which, by the way, is the partial subject of a Forbidden Planet post in which I preposterously get drawn alongside Boo Cook) in a sketchbook full of comic heroes. I freaked out and re-drew it a billion times and it was the most terrifying thing I've ever done. I've been sketching forever and convention sketching is... fucking tough.

Right. That's Bristol over with. If you weren't someone that I met or weren't involved, and you stuck with the whole thing, I'm bloody grateful that you read it. It took ages to write but it's basically been the pinnacle of my comic life so far - it deserves that kind of report really.

Also, it was my birthday on Tuesday. My endlessly excellent lady Jazz got me tickets to see a Stewart Lee stand-up marathon in London next weekend which should be EXTRAORDINARILY BRILLIANT if not clever, cynical and endearing. I love that man. He shouldn't pile his website with negative reviews though, eh? Silly sod. My main man Chris bought me Michael Palin's Around the World in Eighty Days and I spent the afternoon doodling and watching his adventures. Which is possibly the most calming bit of television ever recorded - a world were everyone is a bit silly and very human AKA the world we live in. Reassuring.

Other lovely men bought me quantities of cider and I have been slowly ingesting them and writing EXTREMELY lengthy blogs.

Sigh. Finally - I have put together the last ever Owen in Rock - with the now-familiar Richard Jenkins inputting a jazz corner - GIVE IT A LISTEN BY CLICKING ON THESE CAPITAL LETTERS HERE - thank you for all the requests and listens you beautiful bunch -

There'll be LESS in a fortnight. Thank you so much for reading it all if you have. Have a coconut.

O x

During Donkey Intervals...

2011-04-25T06:41:00.000-07:00

I have been drawing other things. Not many things though - largely self promotion and jam.

MAYBE I SHOULD DRAW JAM TO PROMOTE MYSELF.

...let's just let that go now, shall we?

Oh also before we pop on I'll just slap up a panel from THE OTHER THING I've been drawing this fortnight -

Watch out for a page of the Mammoth Jack epic - (written by Dirk van Dom) in Temple APA later this week. Very pleased to be drawing things that will get seen by people again. Also horses - but I barely draw them. Chunky legs.

"A Younger Sun" for The Weekly Themed Art Blog (or TAB) - the theme was dinos/monsters and I longed to draw a Brachiosaurus. They are my favourite dinosaurs because they were awesome and also they had long awesome necks and they were green.

THEY WERE FUCKING GREEN. They didn't have a feathery spine, wikipedia. THEY WEREN'T GREY AND BLOTCHY THEY

WERE

FUCKING GREEN.

I'm not writing a thesis about it, I'm not discussing it with anyone. I'm not telling you how I know they were green. Clue: It involves time eggs. Also - who knew the atmospheric composition was different in the Jurassic era and humans couldn't breathe it?! I certainly didn't. Nearly died.

This was, I believe, for a young man called Daniel Madley who became eightieth like for the ever-swelling Dr WTF Facebook page. Do pop along - ! Someone suggested I added Christ into the mix and I was like NO WAY Jetsharks I can believe, Invisible Bears I can believe - but Jesus?! You must be out of your cake.

Profound apologies for my second TAB this fortnight - specifically to the superlative mind of Henry Flint who I desperately aped to produce this testicular monstrosity. Shakara is in his little ship there and he's plunging through a giant eye made up of giant eyes. Instead it looks like a pierced ball sack. Sorry. I recommend Henry Flint.

"That Darn Masterchief" aka "Achievement Unlocked" aka "I can't draw licenses very well" - for Richmond Clements - who became the ONE HUNDREDTH LIKE for Dr WTF. A million thank yous - much beyond my shaky paltry Master Chief. I never understood Halo. It's like - there's this planet, and like, you're shooting, and like - then you're not. What's the deal with that. - and as for my Doctor Who anthology - it's in it's final stages and the digital version goes on sale

NEXT WEEK (PROBABLY)

Very exciting - and the print version? Well just turn your pretty eyes downward...

Finally - the third TAB entry is my interpretation of Judge Anderson. A bit Bibi Andersson, a bit ... androgynous ... stern and not at all busty or nipply or any of that shit. It genuinely irritates me. I mean - this shit is what makes the glorious unique world of Judge Dredd that little bit more bland. SHE WOULD AT THE VERY LEAST WEAR A BRA.

SERIOUSLY. PUT ON A BRA ANDERSON WE'RE TRYING TO STOP A DEATH CULT FROM KIDNAPPING THE DAUGHTER OF A WEALTHY INDUSTRIALIST.

IT'S NOT EVEN COLD IN HERE. HOW ARE YOUR NIPPLES PUSHING THROUGH LEATHER?!

Right, little finger off shift - little mind off rant, little bum off the chair - and back to the donkey violence - !

Kapowhoops

2011-04-11T10:15:00.000-07:00

I must say, I intentionally didn't go to Kapow! convention in London this weekend because it seemed quite horrendously shallow to bring the leviathan American con format over here - replete with the vacuous stars of screen and blockbuster dullcomics. I see now that I was being very silly. Although Millar seems like a douche. Anyhow - I didn't go and I missed encountering some genuinely nice internet folk in real life, and copped out on staring gazedly at some of the best artists in British comics. And any platform for them is not a terribly bad thing at all.

On to Bristol International, anyway!

I was extremely proud to be part of an amazing comic - written by Mr Mark Howard (WHAT A CHAP) and co-drawn by the fantastic Davey Candlish, El Chivo, Filip Roncone & Lee Bates - with letters by the EXCELLENT Jim Campbell. This was then auctioned off by 'Genre for Japan' and we raised fifty quid! Many thanks to the kind wallet of author Toni Kelner and Wayne Simmons for calling us all to arms. It was an amazing auction featuring some of my favourite artists and writers - and we collectively earned over eleven thousand for Japan! Crikey.

I urge you to do or give. Japan still needs help.

Although the modest Feistmouse was extremely embarrassed by this pictorial birthday tribute, it was my pleasure to produce it. Do check out his Sun & Moon stories in Dogbreath, or visit the man himself on DeviantArt - or march into Portsmouth Ink and place down your arms bellowing "I COMMAND YOU TO TATTOO ME, FEIST". He is a true fella.

Drawn for The Weekly Themed Art Blog - on the subject of non-2000ad British Comics - this is my tribute to Jimmy and His Magic Patch. A Beano story in which a boy had his torn shorts repaired with a CHUNK OF MAGIC CARPET and thenceforth voyages across the winds of time. A majestic concept and one that was treated with such an appealing old school silliness that I've always gone back to it. I mean, so much time travel these days is all about the mystery of the mechanics - I loved it when it was like "look, he's travelling time - fucking deal with it" BUT WHY "Magic shorts is why, NOW SHUT UP THERE ARE DINOSAURS".

The first of two photo-traces I did this fortnight. I'll go into my anxieties over the method in the next one - but this was a brilliant concept for the brother of Lowri Ann Davies who is clearly an insanely silly child and deserves as many comics as the world can throw at him. I have no opinion or interest in Aston Villa or football - twas a requirement of the brother and nothing more!

My second was for Mother's Day/My Mother's birthday which fell on the same day this year. It's a portrayal of my grandmother who was a powerfully brilliant lady and will be remembered. Here though I must explain that I find the idea of photo-traces very cheap. People seem very impressed and excited in them - and they are the simplest and best way to capture a likeness. The awesome Staticgirl said that she thought mine were justified and contained enough of my personality to carry them through - and even though they take me as long as any picture to draw and colour - if not a little longer - I feel like I've got to the final image through a shortcut. Will do more observational drawing.

Finally - and WITH NO TRACING (disappointing without, isn't it) I pay tribute to the marvellous madcap doodlings of our Pal in Canada; Liam "Ghostpockets" Byrne. Who remains one of the nicest and most enthusiastic artists I've ever met on the internet. I urge you to seek him and his work out - it's fucking glorious.

OH and finally CLICK ON THIS WHOLE PARAGRAPH - because there you will find the Dr WTF?! website set up by my brother. Teasery and very VERY excellent. For an extra giggle view page source and see the HILARIOUS signature he implanted there.

That's it - I'm off. But beware ... DONKEYS are on their way ;)

O x

Morning Dew

2011-03-27T02:47:00.000-07:00

....and we're off.

Another fortnightly update on my going-ons and adventures. I'm considering making them a little more frequent - BUT WHO HAS THE TIME?!

This is 'Junkyard Dog' an image for Mr Mark Corbett of Shoot the Moon - for becoming seventieth (!) like for Dr WTF on Facebook. Are you reading this and haven't liked it? THEN YOU ESSENTIALLY HATE ME. I don't mean to be needy BUT IT'S JUST HAPPENED.

Here, the first of two drawings for the Weekly Themed Art Blog images what it would be like if the Judges were in Tron. Thrilling thought. So thrilling I am now dancing.

This is the image for the 'editor' page of my Dr WTF anthology. It's me drinking out of a cup. I want you to guess which pun I've made/nicked from Joe Quesada. Actually don't. Don't guess. Just be quiet.

Dennis at sixty - I loved the Beano as a child (but scandalously I actually read the Dandy more - they had fucking Smasher!) -- Raise a glass to the nation's most treasured bully. That isn't Thatcher. OHOHOHOHO SATIRE.

Finally another image for the Weekly Themed Art Bloggity Blog. It's my favourite ever game. I bloody love it - so evocative, so heartbreaking, so fucking fantastic I'm going to cut short this blog and go and play it. But first...

The magnificent twelve stories in my anthology - go on - go and like it on Facebook. GO ON.

O x

Victim of the LEMUR?!

2011-03-12T06:13:00.000-08:00

Interesting title. But it bears no relation to the blog at hand.

Just rushing in to update y'all on my various goings on over the last fortnight. It has rushed by and today has rammed me full in the face. Now I lie, spread-eagled with my fang'd jaw agape. My lifeblood and bits of skull scattered across the unforgiving tarmac.

This has nothing to do with a particularly resonant dead badger I saw on my road yesterday. When I came back from work it had gone. Who had taken it? For what nefarious purpose? I may never know.

Before we go on I'd like to further drag down the tone to briefly mention a chap who died this week - a regular fixture of Glastonbury high street - permanently at an easel painting the buildings. I was desperately sad to see the flowers and paint brushes stacked up at the side of the road.

This image is for the 2000ad forum's monthly competition. This one was "I Heart 2000ad" -

My personal pleasure button is in-universe continuity. The weak-ass Simpsons-style Marvel DC stuff gets me down. It's boring. Oh that's the same Batman that's been roaming the streets since 1939?! Fuck off. Seriously. From the moment I picked up 2000ad ten years ago I was swept into a world of imagination and gloriously psychedelic consistency. Rooted in to their own insane universes.

At the end of Dead Eyes when Indigo Prime showed up? HELLO. When Lobster Random was unmasked after D'Israeli's insane run on The Vort? INDEED. When Hammersteins showed up in Savage? When recently it turned out that all Ian Edginton's universes were connected?

ALRIGHT THEN.

Although how do you express continuity?

I just drew a stand-off in an unconvincing cake. Sorry.

This is a trace of a photo for my friend Arthur's birthday. I have a horse - ? Sorry I don't know why I wrote that but I'll leave it in as an insight into my brain. It's fairly scruffy and not very good but it looked quite shiny on paper. For a much better image see the original photograph - tracing is bad.

This is a dinosaur lawyer. For the band (?) Dinosaur Lawyers.

These two were for the Weekly Themed Art Blog - which you can also join in with on Facebook and observe the INCREDIBLY AMAZING stuff by other artists who are SIGNIFICANTLY BETTER than me.

Well - that's it then. I'll update ye when I have more stuff - and may I remind you to listen in to my adventures through time on Glastonbury FM Fridays 8-9pm and repeated Saturdays 5-6pm. Or just shuffle on over to MixCloud and listen WHENEVER YOU WANT. Say whhaaat.

Oh - and do 'like' Dr WTF on Facebook if you haven't already. It may seem outwardly to have fallen quiet - but the letters are nearly complete and the thing will be together and printing this time next week (HOW EXCITING).

Crabcake 3

2011-02-26T01:08:00.000-08:00

Hello chaps - sorry for the long break in blogging BUT I HAVE BEEN BUSY.

Well - not busy, but y'know.

Busy.

Dr WTF?! Is coming along nicely (also if you click on the name there you can join in the Facebook group and keep track of it all - lots of lovely teaser images and the like). Do support us!

Don't NOT support us. No no no.

Anyway the primary reason I've come here today is to share with you what I've been up to. Crabcake 3.

Despite how it may appear I do have a plan. Well - no, I don't think any of us truly have a plan. I think the majority just bimble along like a hermit in a storm. There is no reality - only what we sculpt with our beautiful ignorant brains. What do you know about dermatology? Next to nothing I'm sure but some base their lives on it.

Sorry - what the fuck am I talking about. Carry on - ! Oh and don't forget my radio show is on every Friday from 8 to 9 pm - !

Sorry if these images are massive I can't think how else to do it -

May your gods go with you!

O x

Child of Babylon

2011-01-21T09:48:00.000-08:00

...is what they used to call me. Was never sure why.

I lie - they used to call me Mr Mole because I look like a comical chubby cartoon mole. With fucking long hair.

This post will primarily be about DR WTF?! because DR WTF?! is the big story at the moment. What with FOUR - COUNT THEM - FOUR teasers up and about some very TANTALISING nuggets of glory. Or glorynuggets as I irritatingly just shorten'd.

First thought let me just get some very worthwhile little bits in about stuff I've been drawing lately. As that is, after all, what I do.

This first curious image is a coloured version of something the influential jazz pianist Monsieur Richard "Snakehips" Jenkins (a.k.a. The Jenk or King Jenko) doodled. There's not much to say about it apart from the fact that it's not a Beatle. Unless it's a Beatle.

This is the start of the BEST SAGA YOU'VE EVER HEARD ABOUT A GOAT THAT TRAVELS THROUGH HELL. How does he get there? What furry monstrosity rises from his surprised groin in the final panel? And who is the hidden dancer in the second page?! All these questions and four more will be answered in the next installment - ! See the bigger bugger here - or go and pay a visit to the writer and shower praise upon her.

This is an Ice Warrior. Simply an Ice Warrior. Larking about and doing all those things that Ice Warriors do.... strategically exploiting planets mainly.

Alright. On to the OBLIGATORY ANTHOLOGY UPDATE - I'll leave the new logo to do the talking.

WAPASSHHHH! Glorious eh? I'm humbled and forever grateful to the amazing Mike Carroll who put this together for me at extremely short notice. A dude of no small dudeness. WHO HAS HIS OWN WIKI PAGE. :O

So here we go - some previews and some kneeviews (eh?)

First - this is me and Chris Cronin - Thinking Outside the Box

Second - Oscar M & Louis Carter (Colours by Me) - Back to the Wreckage

Third - Matthew McLaughlin & Neil "Bhuna" Roche - Cosmic Excrement

Fourth - Emperor & Mike Bunt - The Secret of Comedy

Those are the official teasers - and here's some others I've got hold of recently....

Greg Meldrum & James Feist - Kitsch 'n' Sink

Jazz Woods & Liam "Ghostpockets" Byrne - Fear of the Dark

There are still nine other comics drifting into view and you can follow my tumblr or keep checking this thread for updates. By the next blog there will be an official website. Woool!

...why did I just exclaim wool?

=malcolmkirk.blogspot.com|utmccn I'VE THRILLED YOU SOMEHOW - !

ART IS HERE

NOISE IS HERE

O - x

Toughest Street in Town

2010-12-31T03:18:00.000-08:00

...although ironically the toughest town I know IS Street. And it's a village.

Happy 2011 everyone - !! I'll be doing a YEAR REVIEW of 2010 in a bit and will be tap-dancing throughout using MY SPECIAL SKILLS.

New years was beautiful and I spent it with good humans staring at Glastonbury going nuts whilst chuckling into scrumpy. Christmas was a little subdued but as cosy as you could wish for without actually hugging a large rabbit in a warm cottage. All-in-all it makes return to the lonely cold of this empty house a little jarring - but I'll get by. I've still got some scrumpy after all!

Enough of this noise, on with the art!

..and this is the first page of the third part of Crabcake. It'll be a fictional nostalgia-filled part this month with lots of flashbacks to SHIT YOU NEVER DONE SEEN BEFORE. Also tons of continuity with things that NOBODY EVEN KNOWS ABOUT. I find that kind of stuff intensely orgasmic. Watch this space. Also go here - the bigger page is there.

A bit of an experiment this - I wanted to draw something a reminiscent of an eighteenth century painting where there's a gorgeous landscape and always some little bugger in there pointing or duelling or some shit. I've been assured this is because landowners wanted to show off their land although I always thought it was simply antiquarian-style hobby painters who felt sheepish about doing pure landscape. Anyway - far from gorgeous is my landscape - and pretty far off the original brief which was to portray these characters:

- The Blueshift Bombadier - Doctor Damastes

in any way that I fancied. This is how I fancied. Also it attracted some constructive criticism on Deviant Art which is pretty much the highest compliment you can get because it means people are paying attention. So I'm chuffed about that. Right all up in my face. Go here to see the big thing (oo err).

Now here's an odd one - this was for the superlative Mr Dirk Van Dom; a wordsmith of no small renown who put together a MASSIVE choose-your-own-adventure blog featuring this image and a ton of others for (and by) the forever-gorgeous folk over at 2000ad online. See the bigger thing here. Do give the game a go and give some love to those artists you find within!

A placemat done for a FAKEMAS (there was a hashtag on Twitter for it) meal at my place. Then I scanned it in and coloured it over the festive period whilst my sparkly girlfriend sat on my shoulder like a dove dropping bits of cheesy straw into my mouth. See the bigger thing here.

This duo of images are drawn for my main man Mr Roberto 'La Barba Hermosa' Phillips who turned ANCIENT the day before yesterday. Lawdy lawdy. The first was drawn by my good friend Sir Richard 'Subarashii' Denham and coloured by me - the second was done ENTIRELY by me and my soft doghands.

Right. Time for a little summary of my good bits and my new bits. I had two very proud moments this year -

The first is that I graduated in spectacular purple after a RELATIVELY inexpensive three years studying archaeology at Sheffield. I had a wonderful experience there and met some truly brilliant humans - and it was immensely sad and tremendously rewarding to finish it all.

The second is the image I drew and the subsequent goings on related to the Get Well Carlos Project. In which the colossally excellent Mark Howard put together AN ENORMOUS anthology of artists and writers to pay tribute to the one of the most influential artists in British comics - Mr Carlos Ezquerra - co-creator of Judge Dredd and easily the hardest-working comic creative in existence. Carlos had been diagnosed with lung cancer and motivated by his plight the comic was put together to remind him just how much we all respected him. Bizarrely we are now Facebook friends and I'm supremely glad to report that he's recovering - you can download the comic for free here or simply gaze apon his joyful Spanish face reading the comic.

I'm just one of several hundred creators in it, but to see how happy it made him made more satisfied than a dog in a big cake. NOM NOM NOM CAKEY DOGGY CAKE.

Where was I?

Oh yes. SO THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO IN 2011.

- Dr WTF?! (An anthology that'll sound a bit like this "BLAM WOOOO YEAAHHHH" in your head)

Also I now have a glorious script to draw courtesy of Mr Christov Cronin and the whole thing is sealed and buckled down and ready for a Spring appearance. VERY EXCITING.

- Flaubert St Cloud (A comic by me and milady about a GOAT THAT FUCKING TRAVELS THROUGH HELL SAY WHAAAAT)

- THE ARM OF ENGON FALGRAX which will surface soon like a kraken from the depths. A story about two fellows and their quest to ... follow a disembodied arm. Glory be.

- THE PUBLISHING OF CRABCAKE. Oh yes. It will be published. By me.

- THE ACTUAL MANIFESTATION OF CRAZYFOXMACHINE.CO.UK because a splash page saying 'coming soon' can only be exciting for so long.

- VARIOUS OTHER DEALIES AND THINGS THAT ARE FAINTLY UNOFFICIAL AT THE MOMENT. Ooooh vague and mysterious.

Right - That's quite enough. I'll be back to talk Dr WTF with extensive previews - as well as the first part of Flaubert St Cloud in the best part of a couple of weeks. Until then - have beautiful moments and positive thoughts and harsh harsh scrumpy.

ART BE HERE
AUDIO BE HERE

TUMBLR BE HERE (oh yeah that happened as well)

O - x

You Never Know

2010-12-12T02:07:00.000-08:00

...when the nibbles will strike - !

Good day. It's been a positively thrilling three weeks since last I called into blog land. I don't want to spoil anything - BUT I DID GIVE BIRTH TO RACCOONS. Seven, whom I haven't yet named but I want to avoid the clichés (like the names of dwarves, deadly sins or base metals).

This is the title page for my new website which is being designed by my VERY OWN HERMANO. When it's complete it'll act as a gallery for all the bog standard art, exceptionally poorly designed audio AND FUCKING HOT COLLABORATIONS that I spew out on a tri-daily basis.

This image is for the centrepage for a new peace-centric newspaper published by positives and good-eggs from Sheffield. To see the bigger thing hop over to my new DevArt. Oh yeah; I have a new Deviant Art account. What was Metal-Truncator all about?! I wasn't called that anywhere else - ! What a loon.

This is for the exceptionally lovely people over at 2000ad online - every year they do an 'advent calender' thread where each day a member puts up amazing shit. It's totally fucking cool. What a lovely bunch. It depicts the good Doctor (or a vague approximation of him) being hijacked by D.R. & Quinch (ultraviolent slackers created by Alan Moore) . Bigger version. Forum version.

This is a bit of early concept stuff for a thing me and my lady are working on. It's about a goat. A goat that traverses the fictional realm of hell. That's his doctor up there. Bigger version.

A Christmas gift for a friend (and his special friend). Disgusting isn't it? YOU CAN'T HOLIDAY IN SPACE - THAT'S LUDICROUS. Full version.

Finally I re-designed Captain Scarlet for the glorious folk at Feral Gargantua (reading this and not involved? Go and get INVOLVED BOY). The topic was just sort of... generally Gerry Anderson's stuff but in the future. He looks horrible it's super rough and I hate it. OH WELL. Full thing here.

Yes it's that time again - ! A Dr WTF update - !!! Wooooooooo. I let you know with NO small lump in my throat that it's going very well and my latest acquisition is a potentially fucking ridiculous image from "snareser" and Simon Gough. Yikes. Below are all our stories (AND SOME MAGICAL PREVIEWS - courtesy of the artists)

Alan Holloway/Darren Stephens

Derek Hammill/Dan Cornwell

What Happens in Amsterdam...

House of Usher/Exilewood

Martin Collins/Dave Candlish

Synaptogenesis

Adam Page/Chris Nolan-Rennie

Dirk Van Dom/Nicholas Bannwath

Chronoleech

Emepror/Mike Bunt

The Secret of Comedy

Greg Meldrum/James Feist

Kitsch 'n' Sink

Jazz Woods/Liam Byrne

Fear of the Dark

John Whiteley/Conor Boyle

Berlin

Matthew McLaughlin/Neil Roche

Cosmic Excrement

Oscar M/Cthulouis

Back to the Wreckage

And that is that. EXCITED YET? I certainly am.

See you.... potentially after that festive thing that's happening. Good luck with that.

ART BE HERE

NOISE BE HERE

FURTIVE LEMON BE HERE

O - x

Call Me the Breeze

2010-11-21T11:50:00.000-08:00

"And I ain't hidin' from nobody

Nobody's hidin' from me

Oh, that's the way it's supposed to be."

Howdy pardners - it's time for another of my bi-monthly arty warty updatelydoodlies. What I've been drawing and other such exciting/trivial doodly protuberances. For those who are fond of my words I've set up a wordpress page and have uploaded some lengthy scripty story type things that you can browse AT YOUR SUPREME LEISURE.

Just first a little nugget of non-art rambly - tis about a lady called Lisa Robinson who stood in front of a train recently to prove a point about loutish football hooligans and how ordinary people should stand up for their right to go about in peace. It was a bloody lovely tale and it lifted my heart and mind. If you want to hear the details from herself then CLICK ON THESE CAPITALS or just move on and try to be aware that the world is largely populated by glorious individuals and not bloated ignorant shitbagels.

Here is a promotional image for my latest audio adventure. You can hear it over at the Crazyfoxmachine Myspace or on Facebook . Tis a relatively interesting little tale of time travel and the goings and doings of the fellow above. Get a larger look at the picture here.Nice. This image is an obligatory bit of Scott Pilgrim fanart. Although interestingly I haven't seen the thing. Or read the book. Or driven across Poland. This has received a nice bit of recognition from those who see this EXACT SEEN ON A DAILY BASIS PLAYED OUT AROUND THE PARKS OF THIS COUNTRY. No, I'm not trying to make a point about anything beyond the juxtaposition of sparkling pop-culture trendies. GOOD NIGHT.

The world-famous EXTREMELY HARDCORE Axe Cop versus the living exponent of shooting people for mostly justified reasons. Pictures surfaced recently of Mr Karl Urban in his Dredd costume. Some people were annoyed but I took a nice step backwards, had a slice of cake and enjoyed it. They could have made him into a fucking giant turnip or some such balls.

This is a bit of colouring I did FOR NO REASON for Mr Danbo John who didn't specifically ask for it. Gaze into the shining helmet of Dredd! Ooo err.

This one was just a wee re-interpretation of a Nikolai Dante panel in 2000ad. No offence to prolific and beardtacular John Burns who originally drew the character Konstantin's buggered in eye - but I FELT IT NEEDED TO BE AT LEAST FORTY PERCENT MORE BUGGERED. Mr Simon Fraser (Dante co-creator) did me the great honour of giving it a look which had me swollen of noggin for many many hours.

Another one that swelled-up my braincase was this one. Drawn for the influential artgod Mr Carlos Ezquerra - whose birthday it was last week - he was kind enough to COMMENT ON IT on Facebook. Which I'm not saying is a bit deal - it's JUST A MASSIVE FUCKING DEAL. Bless your tasche Mr Ezquerra, may it see a thousand more birthdays - !

This is a little digisketch of milady. Long may she continue being a kooky cat and creepy crab.

Here - drawn for the 2000ad board-type place - where many fine and beautiful artists go to frolic in the glow of enthusiasts, spammers and trolls. Tis Wulf Sterhammer versus Hammerstein. Tis Hammertime.

Of course it's Freddie Mercury as an eighties Hulk Hogan figure. Of course it is.

Here is an affectionate partial stickman parody of the writings of John Smith. Ultra pretentious he is but clearly quite a dude.

Okay - that's your lot. Go on, go away and try and find a piece of happiness in this fragmented morally ambiguous world swirling with madmen and glorypigs. I love all you terrible beautiful people - and will see you again sooner than you think.

ART BE HERE
AUDIO BE HERE
GANGSTADOG BE HERE

O - x

Insignificance

2010-11-03T16:33:00.000-07:00

"It's instilled to want to live.

Bombs dropping down.

Please forgive our hometown

in our insignificance."

Now that filthy bit of quoting is out of the way it's time to get on with the SEVERAL DAYS OVERDUE blog. What have I been up to? Where have I been? What travels and exotic sights and glorious things have I seen?

I'm not here to provide you with that information. I'm not here for opinion - just made-up words and sounds and images that spill out of me like so much wretched vomit. ENJOY.

Bender and K9 go out for a stroll in the infinite white of purgatory. This was for the TV Sidekicks challenge on Feral Gargantua - the larger thing can be seen here. The inks of this were given to my lovely pals in Brighton town so they can gaze upon K9's metal doghead forevermore.

Drawn by the astounding and PERSISTENTLY LOVELY Liam GhostPockets - master of the fine cheekbone and the kind-hearted networking. It has been commented that the most right-on part of this is the big purple bit. Which I put in for lols. The larger version is UP IN HERE YO.

This one has become sad for me - as auld Stephen Fry threw a bit of a wobbler and stormed off Twitter. Both him and Mr Ralf "Dunwich" Kahlert are like memories now - sweet whispering internet ghosts that once were so lovely and now are enormous in their absence. May the winds of time bring them back to us. Big here.

A logo for a glamtacular curly-haired metalman and his company. I wish him many epic and metallic travels amongst the spandex-laiden wailing guitar fields of Somerset. The big yowl is hencewards.

This is simply Crazy Fruit on the loose. That is the nature of it. Wholly inspired by the wickedly whacky Mr Bobbymono.

Uh-oh. It's the time of the season! For halloween japery and VERY responsible pisstakes of certain vacuous vampire franchises. Written by the superbly silly Dave Roberts, letters by Malcolm Kirk and the entire comic (featuring work from many right-on dudes of the small press realm) is AVAILABLE FREE FROM THIS SITE - see the BIG THING HERE

Finally a little something colour'd for my dear ally Dr James 'Dark Jimbo' Feist. Lord of the realm, chapper of the chaps. The lines are by him clearly. FEAST YOUR FACE.

Finally - an update on our DOCTOR WTF?! project.

Creators not submitted/matched up

Arron Ferguson

Cathy Smedley

Chilipenguin

Emperor

Exilewood

Flip-R

Mike Bunt

Richmond Clements

Matched up waiting for scripts

Adam Page & Chris Nolan-Rennie

Martin Collins & Davey Cavendish

Rob Phillips & Owen Watts

Art in progress

Dirk Van Dom & Mitahane - "Chronoleech"

Emceehamster & Darren Stephens - Doctor v Davros

The Enigmatic Dr X & Darren Cornwell - "What Happens in Amsterdam..."

Greg M & DarkJimbo - "Kitsch 'n' Sink"

Jazz Woods & GhostPockets - "Fear of the Dark"

J.M. Whiteley & UncleFester - "Berlin"

Locusts of Death & Bhuna - "Cosmic Excrement"

Ozebane & Cthulouis - "Back to the Wreckage"

Other duties

Carl Pearce - Front Cover

Alex Ronald - Potential Back Cover

Colouring Duties - Simon Gough

There. Excited are ye - ? Good. Reading this and haven't finished your script?! Then GO GO GO GO GO GO!

I'll return in a fortnight with more gaudy colouring and extremely unimpressive art -

TA TA

ART BE HERE
NOISE BE HERE

HAMSTER VERSUS GOD BE HERE

O - x

Hot Moves

2010-10-16T10:45:00.000-07:00

Alrighty then - y'all ready for a bit of mindless bloggery?

Garrrr it's been a while. So much so I can not for the life of me remember what I've been up to. Shindiggery. Skulldungarees. That kind of lark. Went to Sheffield - very pleasant - saw human beings who I very much love and had many a boogie. ON TO THE ART -

This bewilderingly terrifying thing is two thirds of an Exquisite Corpse composite drawing. The head was my own (see the likeness?!) and the bod was by that titan of graphic art CARL PEARCE who deserves all your attention. The legs will be doodled by the ever-loving Ghostpockets at some point in the future. Bigger bugger be here.

A curious character created by the peerless Zammit - and mucked about with by a tonne of folk. The larger version is over here

These two owls were created for an webcomic of some description which may or may not appear in the future. They are both horned owls and were partially inspired by the good creatures of Hoot's Owl Sanctuary. The larger thing is here. Get it downyerneck. Mmmm Owly.

This curious thing was done for Mr Martin Collins' promotions company 'Errant Tentacles' and it's bloody sinister. Imagine that coming outyer gob of a morning. It'd be repugnant. To get the full effect go here.

Kitty Pantera and her crew are another random set of characters. These are from the meddling mind of genius Ralph Neise and have also been altered on several occasions. The big thing is 'ere.

Finally - it is THE END of the Second part of Crabcake. You can see the whole thing here and the first part here. It looks to me that there will be plenty of temporal shenanigans to keep things interesting. Hoorah.

DID ANYONE SPOT THE FORESHADOW ON THE FIRST PAGE?

Finally - Dr WTF?! is in it's third spankingly naughty month and is shaping up to be something rather special. Writers have mostly done their beavering and it is the artists turn to MUCK ABOUT. Last fortnight's blog carries the dirty details - but I'm pleased to announce the involvement of the Engimatic Dr X who is as enigmatic as he is tall - and he's so enigmatic I don't even know how tall he is. So make of that what you will.

Further updates in two weeks - may your late October days pass with pleasant smells and warm things to touch.

ART BE HERE
SOUND BE HERE

RESURRECTION RABBIT BE HERE

O - x

Get Back Into Rockin'

2010-09-27T11:21:00.000-07:00

...IT'S YOUR ONLY WAY OUT.

You find me a week late. Sorry about that - You know how it is. Hanging about, going to beautiful places with beautiful women and generally buggering about.

It's been one hell of a three week period though. Thrills, spills and A HELL OF A LOT OF ILLUSTRATION. Man I'm slow - there's barely owt to show for it. Toward the end there'll also be an anthology update where I tell all you lovely folks what the deal is with my pet project DOCTOR WTF?!

Anywhom.

Yes - the jolly Crabcake crew are back in town. Unfortunately the Emperor Gary is forced to sentence them to death. This is the kind of hijink that can accidentally lead to death. Although not in all cases - for instance I was once torn apart by rabid dogs and here I sit as plain as the day on my face. Curious. A good place to catch up on Crabcake is at THIS LOCATION. Alternatively just glare at the obnoxiously patchy colours at THIS LOCATION

Those two images were doodled by me in a local jazz cafe whilst watching people improvise. It was bleeding lovely to do some freehand scrawling for once - maybe that shows. You can oggle at larger versions here and here. Also pay some mind to my one link into that wonderful world - Mr Richard "I'm Quite Lovely" Jenkins.

- This is possibly (not to oversell it) the most important thing I've ever drawn up to this point. The full details of it lie at the deviant art page but it's basically a tribute to Carlos Ezquerra. Co-creator of Judge Dredd and Strontium Dog - cancer survivor and the most inspirational and hardworking comic artist in the modern history of comics. I fucking love him basically - and I was incredibly chuffed to contribute to a fan comic dedicated to him. The whole thing will show up eventually and I'll make a note to remind you when it does. It blows my mind, featuring some of my favourite artists from the small press scene (mssrs Ghostpockets, Feist, Kevin Levell etc) and also some of my comic heroes (D'Israeli, Bryan Talbot etc). Yikes. I'm not saying much - I'm just saying that it legitimises every drawing I've ever done.

Yep. This is the sound of me selling out. Well - no, not really - it's an advert for a local credit company that my mother works at. If that's selling out then what ISN'T?! Nice to do some proper "freelance" work as it were and I'm grateful for the opportunity. See the full thing here.

Yes glorious children yes. The time is at hand - and do you know what time that is? IT'S SURREALIST DOCTOR WHO BASED COMIC ANTHOLOGY TIME.

I've got together a gorgeous roster of talented artists and glorious writers whom I now owe several pints each. Or will do - when the thing is done. Logo above designed (to a point - still needs an exclamation mark) by Matt Brown.

artists
Cathy Smedley
Chris Nolan-Rennie
Cthulouis/Louis
Davey Cavendish
Filip Roncone/Flip-R
James Feist
Liam Byrne
Mike Bunt
Mitahane
Neil Roche/Bhuna
Me

writers
Adam Page
Arron Ferguson
Derek Hammill/The Enigmatic Doctor X
Emperor
Greg M
Jasmine Woods
The Legendary Shark
Matt Brown/Chilipenguin (Also the logo)
Oscar M/Ozebane
Martin Collins
Matthew McLaughlin/Locusts of Death
Richmond Clements
Rob Phillips
Van Dom

one-offs/other
Alex Ronald (Contributing a picture, back cover?)
Carl Pearce (Contributing a cover)
Simon Gough/Spidermanfan2099 (Potential colour)

Still looking for more artists - who will materialise shortly I'm sure.

Like that spaceship. You know the one.

There should be further updates on the 12th of October. Be lucky - !

ART BE HERE
NOISE BE HERE
LAVA CRAB BE HERE

O - x

Bladecatcher

2010-09-06T08:58:00.001-07:00

welcome to the beginning of the end.

This fortnight's theme is, without a doubt, the good lady Jazz. My colourful confidante without whom life would be a lot less ... Jazzy. It was her birthday in the last week and so I done various things to tickle her fancy. She's also now taking photographs and spewing phenomenal poetry which you can observe over at at the old DeviantArt.

So - I took one of her MORE DISTURBING poems and gave it a bit of a drawing. Lovely isn't it? Lovely and DISTURBING. Here's to you former birthdayJazz. You can see the bigger thing over on ... you know. Whatever it's called.

....did you think I was ever coming back? Those things, those time-consuming things, were all for The Sci-Fi and Fantasy Society of Sheffield - presided over by young lady I'm fairly familiar with. Lovely. They're designed to be stuck about and put on and off and within and without - so - I HOPE THEY USE THEM WELL. The full parade can be seen at this location.

This final wee beastie is the head portion of an Exquisite Corpse jam (as well as being a rather fat tribute to auld Jack Kirby). The other two portions of the body FOR THERE ARE ONLY TWO will be down by the right honourable Carl Pierce and Mr Ghost P Ockets himself. Will post the results when it's complete. Fantabulous.

The other news - as signalled by the TARDIS above that I haven't yet drawn is my new anthology venture which will include such big names as Richmond Clements, James Feist & Alex Ronald AND MAYBE YOU - message me if you want to get involved. It's non-profit, and it's all about the majestic alternate universe Doctors that may or may not exist. Here's the inside skinny. Jaysus.

Will return on the 20th with much more (including new Crabcake for certain as well as exciting stories FROM BEYOND SOMERSET) - !

ART BE HERE
NOISE BE HERE
WALRUS PARLIAMENT BE HERE

O - x

Motor City Is Burning

2010-08-23T13:20:00.000-07:00

...best get at least four extinguishers. Don't you think?

Well the epic gate saga is now over, the wound heals dryly and the gate has since been drunkenly re-conquered. It is not the boss of me. DO YOU HEAR THAT, GATE - ?

YOU

ARE NOT

THE BOSS OF ME.

So there's that. I wish I had more art for you this fortnight but due to a secret secret project that soaked up a lot of my time like a sponge (very worthwhile too - you will hear about it and see it soon I assure you) I've produced very few non-secret works. Additionally there's a new chapter of the 'Nothingman' saga completed and ready for your little earlingtons on the Crazy Fox Machine myspace. It's only got five lonely plays - go and add some numbers to that why don'tchye - ?

This is a segment of a much larger drawing in unprovoked tribute to my favourite ever band ever CHROME HOOF. Who are not only glorious but COMPLETELY GLORIOUS. I urge you to stick their frenetic timings and shardy punkprogdoomdisco into your head and dare you not to be swept up in a frenzy of bopping and agreeable headshakes. Hoof hoof hoof hoof - need I say more?

This one was, for a few weeks, secret - and depicts a scene from a saga so indescribable that you can only follow these green words and go and see for yourself. Dave Thomson = wow. See the bigger bugger in yonder artbarn.

Drawn by the always-excellent James Feist - a rising-star in small press comics (not my words, gentlemen but those of Pete Wells). Coloured quite patchily by your friendly neighbourhood hole-hand. It depicts Hellboy and his BPRD comrades - fighting the supernatural with the supernatural for...WHY NIGH ON FIFTEEN YEARS IF NOT MORE THAN THAT. A bigger version can be seen at this location.

Finally - a Feral Gargantua jam (join us, join us - !) about 'Careers in Space'. Whereby I decided that only worthy profession to spacify was my own - archaeology. So here they are - a hapless archaeologist with their own wee Portakabin attached to them lovingly via oxygen hose. They trowel away at a mighty alien visage and groan at the endless laser context sheets aching to be filled out. It's a noble occupation. The bigger picture is here.

That's it then - I hope you've had as a good a fortnight last as I have - watching my wounds seal up and wondering if soon a face will poke through - and GAZE INTO MY OWN.

"What do you want?!" I'll stammer - watching it's beady eyes bloodily blink.

"I've come to warn you - " It begins in a shrill tone " - not to follow the pointing finger of the arm of Engon Falgrax - !"

Before it has time to explain I bludgeon it senseless on the edge of my desk.

"Sod you handbeast. Sod you."

ART BE HERE

AUDIO BE HERE

THE LAST SANCTUARY OF THE ELECTRIC MONKS BE HERE

O - x

I Feel Like Makin' Love

2010-08-09T05:19:00.000-07:00

...it would be infinitely preferable to what I'm currently doing. Which is as tragically silly as it is hard to type.

The saga, or "gategate" as the media is currently calling it, is a very new one and can be adequately defined by the diagram above. I split open my left hand in a gloriously nerdy way on the large, blunt spikes of a fearsome gate. Whilst intoxicated on scrumpy no less. Eight stitches and a minor panic later and you find me in the position below.

I feel like Nightcrawler. So, no art this week (the last fortnight I've been working on secret secret projects anyway and this whole one-handed typing business is A RIGHT BORE) only injury. I'll return in a fortnight with healed hands and a bumper art special. Promise.

Live long and prosper - !

ART BE HERE

AUDIO BE HERE
DAN SHANDY BE HERE

THE WOUND BE HERE

O - x

Goodbye Cruel World

2010-07-26T11:15:00.000-07:00

...hello kind blog.

Sorry there's not really a lot to report of the last fortnight. Apart from the fact that I fucking graduated.

Powerful imagery there. Our future is in safe hands. Hands bedecked in purple finery. All sorts of jiggery pokery went forth at the ceremony. Well - lots of trumpets and stupid hats anyway. Being honoured had never felt so overcooked. Thanks Sheffield!

This, my first image of the fortnight - is some sort of glorious douchewizard being a douche to some hovering shit. It's for an anthology being put together by the fantastic Bobbymono. His own efforts have served my lolgland well. The full picture (and a clearer look at the 'Wizardjugs' poster hanging within) can be seen here.

An accidental Who image. They do happen quite frequently. This was originally for a Feral Gargantua contest on those scary-ass Real Ghostbusters action figures and kind of spiralled into Who territory. Who is the mysterious Doctor though? Not quite Pertwee - maybe a future one. His taste in purple is impeccable though. Ruminate on the subject whilst looking at all the FINE DETAIL over here.

Finally - the third page of the current part of Crabcake. Their parade route through the Volian Supercone city ends up at the Emperor's Palace. The mysterious G. WHO BE HE? HE BE YOU? Don't think so, your name doesn't start with a G. Why would I write a story about you? Is it because I love you - ? DO I LOVE YOU?

FIND OUT IN THE NEXT THRILLING INSTALMENT.

The full version of the page can be seen at this address and a handy catch-up to the whole shebang can be witnessed in flashtacular slidyness on my new art portfolio website. Get yourself one, it's free - !

Finally - a little gift for my long-lost friend-for-all-seasons Christopher L. Nolan-Rennie (the L stands for LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS). It's Kratos and Sackboy Kratos just...chilling out. Having a bit of a chill out. The full thing can be seen here in all it's SHIT PROPORTIONS and if you fancy a challenge you can colour it. GO ON. COLOUR IT.

Well that's it. Sorry there's not a lot - you know how it is. Also - how morbid was the title? I bet some of you just skimmed it through to see if it was some kind of suicidal diatribe. Don't be stupid. Without life there isn't art and WHAT

WOULD BE THE POINT

OF THAT.

I will return on the 9th of August fresh from some funky shenanigans and hopefully will have finished my ULTRA SECRET AND ULTRA DETAILED PROJECT.

ART IS HERE

AUDIO IS HERE
SHANDY IS HERE

LAMBHAT IS HERE

O - x

Black Ribbon

2010-07-12T09:55:00.000-07:00

Alright there folkingtons?

OW BE YON (as we say in the westcountry) - it is all well and good - the archaeological job has kicked in and I achieved a 2:1 degree. Hooray for me. That was the easy bit - now comes the hard work. Actually sod it I'll just draw.

That lonely fellow is, of course, Wally. NOT FUCKING JURA. NOT FUCKING HOLGER. NOT FUCKING CHARLIE. NOT FUCKING HETTI. NOT FUCKING VALLI. NOT FUCKING EFFY. NOT FUCKING WILLY. NOT FUCKING HUGO. AND ESPECIALLY NOT FUCKING WALDO. You wonder why the poor bugger is here portrayed with such clear existential sorrow. The one and only thing a man has to staple himself to this orb, his name, and the boy has eleven of them. Actually that's probably a good thing. Cheer up you shit. Go here to see the bigger thing. All hail Martin Handford.

Dear dear dear Northern Oak - a grand auld folk metal band and a very very decent set of human beings. So much so I did this practically on a whim. The singer is here on blogspot and is a shit hot poet. Check out the larger thing over here. Go on. It's barktastic.

This is Mer-Man. He's a Victorian gent. I don't have a great deal more to say - only that I'm not happy with how it came out and everyone seems to think it's the gravy. The dog's gravy? I don't know that I agree and I worry that if what other people think is good is what I'm not convinced about then I AM ARTISTICALLY DOOMED. Oh well. Back to the drawing board.

HAH. Bigger thing here.

This was drawn by a very solid gentleman by the name of FUCKIN' JOE RICHARDS who is a metal gent and a scholar. I love colouring his stuff - and have done it

on several other occasions

The larger (and sadder) Dan can be witnessed over in this direction. Just pray the adverts don't start chatting at you. Some people may find it delightfully Harry Potter - I just find it annoying. Especially as I'm TRYING TO LISTEN TO RUSH.
Now - now, this one was partly for Feral Gargantua and partly for the 2000ad boards but mostly because I have long drawn Dreddface and I wanted to crack at him again. Some people have been calling this drawing all sorts of beautiful things and I will carry their compliments (against the wishes of the Dalai Lama) to my grave - but I was very happy with it. It took me an hour to do - and the process seemed to me quite pure and straightforward. ARGH SPOTIFY ADVERT WHAT THE FUCK. Why does Teeside University need to advertise on Spotify?!

Shit that - I've lost my train of thought now. I'll be back on the 26th shoving more of my art down your gob and gabbling all the goss from graduation.

Tarra for now then - !

O - x

Godzilla

2010-06-28T08:59:00.000-07:00

"With a purposeful grimace and a terrible sound

He pulls the spitting high tension wires down"

Welcome to the big fat "I've been the Glastonbury" blog post. Afore I get on with description after description of sun and dust and bands and cider I'll just shove two images from the last fortnight all up in your face. For that is how I do.

This is Axe Cop versus Thor of course and has since been called 'awesome' by Axe Cop's co- creator Ethan Nicolle. Which is an attestation that I will naturally have inscribed on my back. The excellent Axe Cop (for those not in the know tis a comic written by a kickarse 6-year-old and drawn by his 29-year-old kickarse artist brother) can be witnessed here - and the story of why Thor has an axe and why he's involved can be read (as well as the full image) here.

This (as you can just about work out) is the second page of the second part of my majestical Crabcake saga. Here I start to introduce the sexiest thing known to man: continuity possibly related to time-travel or some other similar hijink. Did you feel that? It was you orgasming at the thought. I'm sorry. Also to throw some actual plot progression into the mix the commander general Alan Vitriox announces their arrival at some gaudily-coloured whale-tailed destination.

"WHERE'S THAT THEN?"

That question and some others can be seen to be answered in page 3. Coming to an early July near you. The bigger picture, naturally, is at this anthro-porn-filled-location.

That there is a sign. A sign that says "Glastonbury 40". Why it says that I have no idea - although it may be slightly related to Glastonbury festival's 40th anniversary. I don't know - I'm not a doctor.

The hardest part is Wednesday. The stress of getting onsite and dodging queues of people WHO YOU JUST KNOW WANT TO CAMP IN EXACTLY THE SAME SPOT AS YOU. It was made more hectic this year by the shit-ton of new people. Of which there were a shit-ton. They had been camping in wait like crouched tigers in cars. Once settled though - Wednesday falls into exhaustion and belated exploration - those shit-ton cease to be competitors and start to become fellow festival-goers. Relaxed, positive and often up for grinning smalltalk. I've lost count of the amount of smiling strangers I've talked to at past years - this was no exception. The lovely buggers were everywhere. I avoided the football and climbed the tallest point at the festival - a hill behind the Park field - it's here I heard the England goal - bellowing at me from a hundred thousand joyful whoops across the panorama. A far more spectacular way to experience it than sweltering in front of the main-stage screens.

Possibly my favourite new structure at the site (next to the new jazz n' blues bar; Bourbon Street) is the Ridge & Furrow ale house. A two story half-pub constructed by chainsaw carvers last year - staffed by people in medieval dress serving local ale and often with folk music. Shitting lovely. It was here I met a curious woman who claimed to be called Stella Fairy and dreamt of a franchise of two-story fairy shops with an adult section at the top linked by a fireman's pole. What fairies would want with adult paraphernalia I shudder to think - but I admired her ambition. And wings.

Here we are - my first celebrity sighting. Bodger and fucking Badger. Majestic aren't they? Badger is wearing a Never Mind the Bollocks shirt. As I snapped this two girls wandered by

Girl #1: Oh my god is that Bodger and Badger?!
Girl #2 (very nonplussed): Everybody knows Badger loves mashed potatoes

and they kept on walking. I somehow found this interaction ridiculously funny. The rest of Wednesday I do not recall. The exhaustion drove us early to our beds and so we missed our first TENTROBBERY - a torch blared through my flap around two and I told the offensive light to bugger off. Nowt was taken from me but those around had money nabbed, and in one incident - the iPod nicked from their very ears. Spooky.

Various sights from a wander around the former 'Lost Vagueness' area which has all manner of funky art and curious arenas designed to intricately capture that elusive 'Glastonbury moment' in the form of bizarre anecdotes. It is a shame that the area becomes a swarming mass of indecipherable movement at night which the time of its awakening.

This will have to represent Friday (what happened on Thursday -? Much drunkenness and another of evening of enjoyment at the hands of bluesman Aynsley Lister) as I did not take any pictures of Gorillaz or The Black Keys or Hybrid or any of those bands that we so drunkenly watched with the assitance of a fine bag of rosé. Here we witnessed an unknown band on the Bandstand stage command the crowd to roll on the floor with their hands and legs in the air in a glorious scene akin to a miniature Life of Brian. Gorillaz were bloody amazing and got quite a panning for playing so much of Plastic Beach. Sod the critics - the whole thing was heightened by the appearances of Lou Reed, Mark E Smith, Snoop Dogg (that rascal) and Shaun Ryder who doffed his cap quite excellently to the recently deceased Frank Sidebottom. Rest his giant fibreglass head.

This is the only image from the best night - Saturday. The new West Holts stage was headlined by the RIDICULOUSLY RIDICULOUSLY RIDICULOUSLY GOOD George Clinton Funkadelic/Parliament band who effectively had a massive onstage party. Possibly the greatest performance I've seen at the festival - it's the best stage by miles. Seventy-four fucking miles. The atmos was not ruined by a dancin' punchin' leary Elvis baby man who needed several security guards to restrain him. We then moved back to our haunt of Bourbon Street for some absurdly groovy blues from the absurdly groovy Oli Brown band to whom me and Mr Jab Rimmer danced the bloody night away.

Sunday was as hot and as sweaty as EVERY OTHER BLOODY day this year. I didnae mention the days so much because there was much sweating and sitting down and going "god it's hot" to strangers and friends. It's good to have a hot Glastonbury - because at least in the night things occur then - people rocket from their sweltered shells and BEGIN TO DANCE. John Otway (pictured above) is probably one of my new favourite people - he, along with Dr John, Adrian Edmonson and the Bad Shepherds and a mass singalong to waterloo sunset made my sweaty Sunday afternoon one to remember.

The winds drove away the cruel heat and the inevitable noodles lead me to Craig Charles doing a bit of Funk & Soul DJ (as well as some truly majestic cheesy dancing) at an area called Cubehenge that I'm sure you can adequately visualise. I then trekked onward past the betwatted masses admiring what can only be described a truly bog-standard band - and I watched Arthur Brown (above) do his bloody thing at 68 with as much zest as a mad mad panda.

Then brief Stevie Wonder and home - but I would like to briefly mention one of my favourite Glastonbury thing wot I stumbled upon moons ago in old Lost Vagueness. THE DUKES BOX what a fucking thing - the band sit in there and you request songs of them in the manner of a traditional duke box. It. Is. GLORIOUS. I encourage you to seek the elusive box out.

What is Glastonbury?

A farm. Sometimes playing host to an enormously famous and vastly sprawling eclectic arts festival based around the core values of green futures and eco-based equality companies Water Aid, Oxfam and Greenpeace. Mostly it is known for being host to hordes of corporate-approved superbands and flash-in-the-pans that attract thousands upon thousands of musical retards who think Scouting for Girls are the best thing that happened since MOZART FUCKING DIED - which make it appear to unknowers as just a fatter corporate shindig like Reading or Leeds. Which it clearly isn't. It never was and it never will be a music festival. Those who dollop their betrilby'd forms in front of the three pop stages are depriving themselves utterly of what makes me love Glastonbury festival. I love it so utterly that were I to cop it at this moment I could think of no better place to summarise the happiest days of my existence than that sprawling valley - the dust and the mud and the moments and the people. I'm always happy there. The retards swarm - the terrible bands play - and I grin on, knowing that for a week out of the year I am home.

See you with more art and less melodrama on the 12th of bloody July

ART IS HERE
AUDIO IS HERE

FLAT CAKE IS HERE

O - x