Until Man Exists No More

...the laptop will prevail.

Or rather -

it fully won't. The thing bloody bust on me three weeks into it's existence which caused much aggravation and not a little cursing.

Fuckbaskets was one I recall. So here I sit on a borrowed computer wasting my precious days away from a life-sucking machine writing on another life-sucking machine. That sucks life. Life is in this colour - art is in this one.

Not much occurred in the last week - save for the monotonous WAITING and the pointless purchase of a number of items to aide my boredom that have

A - proved themselves to be useless

B - not arrived and have therefore yet to prove their uselessness

Used this time to consume early Star Trek films and come to the conclusion that the franchise is a bloated waste of time without DeForest Kelley or James Doohan. That's it.

Sigh. The reasons for my laptop break were probably numerous, although in the hypothetical world of the Obrain I suspect it was a violent reaction to my tortured production of Doctor Who fanart which my last blog of two weeks ago so sleazily hinted at. A tiny preview image can be seen below and the whole thing can be accessed BY CLICKING ON THIS VERY CAPITALIZED SENTENCE.

Right that's it for this one - quite short but next week will hopefully bring the joys of laptop and pre-term HORRORglory.

Art is here

Audio is here

O - x

My Robot Is Disturbed

...wouldn't you be?

- Welcome to the pre-Sheffield return blog. As I sit freezing and staring at a ridiculous view of a snow-coated Glastonbury, I look back and remember ALL THE FUN TIMES I HAD over the last three weeks or so. There were many. I'm not going to reminisce here because I'm not that kind of ludicrous dullard.

Safe to say, the country has fallen into LITERAL CHAOS.

...this is the image that came up when I typed 'Snow Chaos' into Google. Who the fuck is this guy? I can only imagine that he is the sole reason for the woes we're experiencing due to the adverse weather, him and his accomplice; FrostyJohn and his evil evil evil jaycloth scarf.

This week I mainly travelled to Portsmouth, home of my absurd and glorious girlfriend and apparantly NOTHING ELSE bar packs of roaming youths yielding projectiles made from the very precipitation that still surrounds us. Scoundrels. Still without scanner so the numerous images I've drawn this week will not be visible for a few days yet. I'm drawing a Doctor Who fan comic - THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN DRIVEN TO. Will FrostyJohn claim my originality as well as my fightin' lamprey?

That's him. Not pretty, is he? Not too bothered that FrostyJohn might claim him actually, saves me looking at that mug all bloody day.

I've also been planning the second part of my FANTASY EPIC so go takes a gander at the first before it's RADICALLY UPDATED WITH A PART SO STUNNINGLY ADVANCED IT WILL MAKE THE FIRST SEEM LIKE THE RANTINGS OF A NEANDERTHAL SOMEHOW TRANSMITTED THROUGH TIME.

I'll see you on the 17th for some ORIGINAL ARTWORK and some sentences that don't inevitably end IN CAPITAL LETTERS. Stay alert and watch out for FrostyJohn.

- Pre Doctor-Who Fancomic Art here -

- Fantasy Epic and Other Rants here -

O - x

Bad Boys

...is like the opposite of my life. Literally exactly the opposite. Isn't that weird?

So welcome to the first blog of the FUCKING YEAR and I don't know why but I've not been at all tempted to catalogue my greatest experiences of the last one. Things happened, some things didn't. That was about it really.

Given the hectic nonsense that was the last seven days I haven't produced A SINGLE SCRAP of art - so there's that. Although since before Christmas I've been working on a super secret project to give to my main man Robbo on his special day (of birth) - but it's super secret and infringes a number of quite horrendous copyrights so I don't think I could upload it anywhere. You'll basically just have to bump into me at force and demand to hear it.

Now - I don't want to turn this into an horrendous opinion rag so I shan't bitch on and on about the media which has clambered into my eyes over the last week (namely the regeneration of a certain alien menace and the invasion of a certain plant-like species) - although I will say this.

...I'm just saying I'm personally a little disappointed. Not pessimistic though. Never.

I saw the transition of the year take place through cider-fogged eyes and Prince-clogged ears at a 'space funk' evening in Glastonbury. The image below describes it better than my fragmented sentences ever could.

Wow. So - basically it happened. That happened.

There will be more STUFF next week. A contributing factor to the lack of art has been my lack of a bleedin' workin' scanner down in the South. I would doodle with the graphics tablet but I'm JUST NOT THAT GOOD YET. Jesus Christ leave me be.

There hasn't been nearly enough hyperlinks in this post. Although I get very sick of blogs that have themselves adding emphasis and a useless picture for every other fucking word. I will however link you to what I believe is the album of the decade. It's on Spotify so if you don't have Spotify you'll never KNOW WHAT IT IS. Isn't that fucked up?

THIS IS THE ALBUM OF THE DECADE

Oh well. Right that's me done. Gonna go off and watch Generation Kill and fanny about. See you on the 10th for some pre-Sheffield returning Glastonbury MUSINGS.

Art is here
Audio is here

O - x

Drinking Muddy Water

...is what made my mind INVERT. That's right ladies and gentlemen, Santa reached into his enormous sack of presents and pulled out an inverted bloody mind for me this Christmas.

What is it like?

You may naively ask. It is like the image you will see when you click on this sentence.

Only a bit more badly drawn. I'll ignore the red that represents life this week as it really isn't worth going into at all. Mysterious? I wish.

So instead I'll press on in valiant artistic green that raises above my new invert-o-brain. Firstly I finally managed to finish the AMAZING FANTASY SAGA that has been sitting unfinished on no less than two separate laptops. It sounds a little like this and I urge you to check it out. If that's not enough persuasion there's a swanky promotional image that took me all manner of minutes.

Sweet, eh? Yeah. Also for Christmas old saint Nick and all his FUCKING WARPED GOBLIN ASSISTANTS (my brother) got me a graphics tablet and I used the oppurtunity to experiment with different colouring styles. The one below is of that most majestic of men; the president of the galaxy.

Quoth the man:

"You've been in the vortex?"
"...You saw me kid"
" - and you saw the whole infinity of creation?"
" - the lot baby, it's a real neat place y'know"
"...and you saw yourself in relation to it all?"
"yeah, yeah, yeah"
" - and what did you experience?"
"It just told me what I knew all the time - I'm a really great guy - didn't I tell you, baby?

...I am ZAPHOD BEEBLEBROX!"

- wait, this is the end. No reviews of the year? No 'greatest gigs' or 'best albums' or 'grooviest films' or 'funkdangliest DVDs' or 'randazzliar'd fantillions'?!?!?!

No. I enjoy making lists but I don't see the point in doing them at all. Plus I'm going to go and cradle my new invertmind and hope it LETS ME FUCKING LIVE at some point.

Cryptic? I wish.

See you IN THE FUTURISTIC YEAR OF 2010 on the FUTURISTIC DAY of the 3rd of January.

Art is here
Audio is here

O - x

Mountains

This is about as festive as I get - here are some lovely pictures. AND LO - A GOLDEN HORSE DOTH RIDE NEARBY.

Can you see it?

No I didn't think so. Enjoy these X-Men I did for the living embodiment of Jazz.

A bigger version of the four of them can be seen below and AT THIS LOCATION

- There will be stuff happening before the Christmas, and it will be this sodding audio thing. Oh yes, that thing. So be checking myspace and deviantart and things and no doubt you'll see it.

Apologies for the lack of different colours - will return for proper on the festive 27th ;)

O - x

(Take These) Chains

...I don't need them, they're cluttering up my workspace. Hello there, welcome to the seven thousandth Oblog. It's been a hell of a week. Hold on - you're about to hear ALL ABOUT IT. My vast and cynical mass has travelled the length and wength of the blogsphere and I know that TWO COLOURS bring about total harmony. This is for life. This is for art. The two are inseperable in every sense but for the whimsy of colour-coding.

The week began with me hurling work at deadlines and then proceeding to leg it in the other direction. The other direction being Leeds - whereupon many 'chugs', 'lols' and other thrashisms were performed in honour of Mr Mike Alexander the fallen bassist of Evile.

The resizing thing still isn't fixed. Can you tell? The thrash bands playing consisted of Mutant,Gama Bomb, Seregon and an all-star covers band consisting of Evile folks and the drummer from Dimmu Borgir and members of the aforementioned groups. It was ridiculous fun - as thrash gigs always tend to be. Very silly. My second gig (and therefore event) of the week was last night in the glowing laser-light of Hawkwind, although the half-hour support set by The Crazy World of Arthur Brown may just have topped it.

Gawd yes. My art has fallen into an unfortunate post-exam lapse, but BELIEVE ME - this will not be the case in the following week. I will be SPOILT FOR CHOICE in green. Anyway - artistically debatable but damned good fun was my final radio show - which you can hear by clicking on this sentence. That's it. Bit brief - but I will have more to say next week when I'm mired in the glorious silence of home and that wondrous PRE-CHRISTMAS blog post.

Yes it really is that close. Exciting isn't it? Like something crawling into your spine. See you on the 20th - !

Art is here
Audio is here
Dan Shandy is here
Radio is here

O - x

Delilah

...would be the name of my horse - had I a horse or the desire or resources to own a horse. I don't want a horse. Welcome to the OH SHIT I'VE GOT A THOUSAND WORDS OF ESSAY STILL TO WRITE WHY AM I WRITING A FUCKING BLOG blog. It's gonna be fun this week. Now remember children, this colour represents life - and this represents art. Yes, they were two colours all along. Are you surprised? You shouldn't be, stop it.

This week my life has been a beautifully hectic thing - like a flower beautifully opening in A FUCKING ION STORM *looks up ion storm* There's not flowers in space! This blog is whack. Anyway, it began last week with me doing bugger-all and then suddenly gig happened. Gig in question was The Answer and was very enjoyable - I'll put a picture below.

It was like that - but in Corporation. Lots of boogietacular grooveantics - the support bands were alternatingly cute and fucking terrible. Further things happened this week such as the final death of my much-abused laptop and it's subsequent replacement by a much shinier machine. The rest of the week was spent (and still is) frantically alternating between essay work and getting to know my new (and fairly fabulous) girlfriend Jazz. Who is fabulously fair. That's her below. Jealous? You know it.

Tis a bigger beard than I can grow. Oh shit, the writing's gone green. Must mean it's time for some creative gossip - because thankfully I'm being equally creative as I am anything else. Oh bollocks, I actually haven't. Well I drew a Bearghandi and something super secret but my scanner is broke so you'll just have to IMAGINE IT. For archival purposes though, check out the ONLY Lord of the Rings fan art I've ever below. It's bloody enormous you'll have to click on it to see it proper -

The reason for this is that this blog editor is only the fritz and I can't seem to alter the sizes of the pictures - but that's fine because I sensed you wanted that all up in your face today. The only other vaguely creative thing I did this week was a radio show THAT COUNTS - and it was guested by the aforementioned Beardy Jazz - as I will be guesting on her show Soon I Will Be Invincible tonight at six. What larks. Oh - and if you're in the mood for another show after that - this weeks Heal You Hangover with Liberty Nears and Adam 'Progman' Page was particularly bloody good - AN HOUR AND A HALF OF PROG?! Yes please.

Right - I'm off. To essay perchance to dream. I will see you on the thrifty thirteenth for an update on a week that will hopefully see me hand in this fucking shit and get on with my life. TOODLES - !

Art is here
Audio is here
Dan Shandy is here
Radio is here

O - x