Call Me the Breeze

"And I ain't hidin' from nobody

Nobody's hidin' from me

Oh, that's the way it's supposed to be."

Howdy pardners - it's time for another of my bi-monthly arty warty updatelydoodlies. What I've been drawing and other such exciting/trivial doodly protuberances. For those who are fond of my words I've set up a wordpress page and have uploaded some lengthy scripty story type things that you can browse AT YOUR SUPREME LEISURE.

Just first a little nugget of non-art rambly - tis about a lady called Lisa Robinson who stood in front of a train recently to prove a point about loutish football hooligans and how ordinary people should stand up for their right to go about in peace. It was a bloody lovely tale and it lifted my heart and mind. If you want to hear the details from herself then CLICK ON THESE CAPITALS or just move on and try to be aware that the world is largely populated by glorious individuals and not bloated ignorant shitbagels.

Here is a promotional image for my latest audio adventure. You can hear it over at the Crazyfoxmachine Myspace or on Facebook . Tis a relatively interesting little tale of time travel and the goings and doings of the fellow above. Get a larger look at the picture here.Nice. This image is an obligatory bit of Scott Pilgrim fanart. Although interestingly I haven't seen the thing. Or read the book. Or driven across Poland. This has received a nice bit of recognition from those who see this EXACT SEEN ON A DAILY BASIS PLAYED OUT AROUND THE PARKS OF THIS COUNTRY. No, I'm not trying to make a point about anything beyond the juxtaposition of sparkling pop-culture trendies. GOOD NIGHT.

The world-famous EXTREMELY HARDCORE Axe Cop versus the living exponent of shooting people for mostly justified reasons. Pictures surfaced recently of Mr Karl Urban in his Dredd costume. Some people were annoyed but I took a nice step backwards, had a slice of cake and enjoyed it. They could have made him into a fucking giant turnip or some such balls.

This is a bit of colouring I did FOR NO REASON for Mr Danbo John who didn't specifically ask for it. Gaze into the shining helmet of Dredd! Ooo err.

This one was just a wee re-interpretation of a Nikolai Dante panel in 2000ad. No offence to prolific and beardtacular John Burns who originally drew the character Konstantin's buggered in eye - but I FELT IT NEEDED TO BE AT LEAST FORTY PERCENT MORE BUGGERED. Mr Simon Fraser (Dante co-creator) did me the great honour of giving it a look which had me swollen of noggin for many many hours.

Another one that swelled-up my braincase was this one. Drawn for the influential artgod Mr Carlos Ezquerra - whose birthday it was last week - he was kind enough to COMMENT ON IT on Facebook. Which I'm not saying is a bit deal - it's JUST A MASSIVE FUCKING DEAL. Bless your tasche Mr Ezquerra, may it see a thousand more birthdays - !

This is a little digisketch of milady. Long may she continue being a kooky cat and creepy crab.

Here - drawn for the 2000ad board-type place - where many fine and beautiful artists go to frolic in the glow of enthusiasts, spammers and trolls. Tis Wulf Sterhammer versus Hammerstein. Tis Hammertime.

Of course it's Freddie Mercury as an eighties Hulk Hogan figure. Of course it is.

Here is an affectionate partial stickman parody of the writings of John Smith. Ultra pretentious he is but clearly quite a dude.

Okay - that's your lot. Go on, go away and try and find a piece of happiness in this fragmented morally ambiguous world swirling with madmen and glorypigs. I love all you terrible beautiful people - and will see you again sooner than you think.

ART BE HERE
AUDIO BE HERE
GANGSTADOG BE HERE

O - x

Insignificance

"It's instilled to want to live.

Bombs dropping down.

Please forgive our hometown

in our insignificance."

Now that filthy bit of quoting is out of the way it's time to get on with the SEVERAL DAYS OVERDUE blog. What have I been up to? Where have I been? What travels and exotic sights and glorious things have I seen?

I'm not here to provide you with that information. I'm not here for opinion - just made-up words and sounds and images that spill out of me like so much wretched vomit. ENJOY.

Bender and K9 go out for a stroll in the infinite white of purgatory. This was for the TV Sidekicks challenge on Feral Gargantua - the larger thing can be seen here. The inks of this were given to my lovely pals in Brighton town so they can gaze upon K9's metal doghead forevermore.

Drawn by the astounding and PERSISTENTLY LOVELY Liam GhostPockets - master of the fine cheekbone and the kind-hearted networking. It has been commented that the most right-on part of this is the big purple bit. Which I put in for lols. The larger version is UP IN HERE YO.

This one has become sad for me - as auld Stephen Fry threw a bit of a wobbler and stormed off Twitter. Both him and Mr Ralf "Dunwich" Kahlert are like memories now - sweet whispering internet ghosts that once were so lovely and now are enormous in their absence. May the winds of time bring them back to us. Big here.

A logo for a glamtacular curly-haired metalman and his company. I wish him many epic and metallic travels amongst the spandex-laiden wailing guitar fields of Somerset. The big yowl is hencewards.

This is simply Crazy Fruit on the loose. That is the nature of it. Wholly inspired by the wickedly whacky Mr Bobbymono.

Uh-oh. It's the time of the season! For halloween japery and VERY responsible pisstakes of certain vacuous vampire franchises. Written by the superbly silly Dave Roberts, letters by Malcolm Kirk and the entire comic (featuring work from many right-on dudes of the small press realm) is AVAILABLE FREE FROM THIS SITE - see the BIG THING HERE

Finally a little something colour'd for my dear ally Dr James 'Dark Jimbo' Feist. Lord of the realm, chapper of the chaps. The lines are by him clearly. FEAST YOUR FACE.

Finally - an update on our DOCTOR WTF?! project.

Creators not submitted/matched up

Arron Ferguson

Cathy Smedley

Chilipenguin

Emperor

Exilewood

Flip-R

Mike Bunt

Richmond Clements

Matched up waiting for scripts

Adam Page & Chris Nolan-Rennie

Martin Collins & Davey Cavendish

Rob Phillips & Owen Watts

Art in progress

Dirk Van Dom & Mitahane - "Chronoleech"

Emceehamster & Darren Stephens - Doctor v Davros

The Enigmatic Dr X & Darren Cornwell - "What Happens in Amsterdam..."

Greg M & DarkJimbo - "Kitsch 'n' Sink"

Jazz Woods & GhostPockets - "Fear of the Dark"

J.M. Whiteley & UncleFester - "Berlin"

Locusts of Death & Bhuna - "Cosmic Excrement"

Ozebane & Cthulouis - "Back to the Wreckage"

Other duties

Carl Pearce - Front Cover

Alex Ronald - Potential Back Cover

Colouring Duties - Simon Gough

There. Excited are ye - ? Good. Reading this and haven't finished your script?! Then GO GO GO GO GO GO!

I'll return in a fortnight with more gaudy colouring and extremely unimpressive art -

TA TA

ART BE HERE
NOISE BE HERE

HAMSTER VERSUS GOD BE HERE

O - x

Hot Moves

Alrighty then - y'all ready for a bit of mindless bloggery?

Garrrr it's been a while. So much so I can not for the life of me remember what I've been up to. Shindiggery. Skulldungarees. That kind of lark. Went to Sheffield - very pleasant - saw human beings who I very much love and had many a boogie. ON TO THE ART -

This bewilderingly terrifying thing is two thirds of an Exquisite Corpse composite drawing. The head was my own (see the likeness?!) and the bod was by that titan of graphic art CARL PEARCE who deserves all your attention. The legs will be doodled by the ever-loving Ghostpockets at some point in the future. Bigger bugger be here.

A curious character created by the peerless Zammit - and mucked about with by a tonne of folk. The larger version is over here

These two owls were created for an webcomic of some description which may or may not appear in the future. They are both horned owls and were partially inspired by the good creatures of Hoot's Owl Sanctuary. The larger thing is here. Get it downyerneck. Mmmm Owly.

This curious thing was done for Mr Martin Collins' promotions company 'Errant Tentacles' and it's bloody sinister. Imagine that coming outyer gob of a morning. It'd be repugnant. To get the full effect go here.

Kitty Pantera and her crew are another random set of characters. These are from the meddling mind of genius Ralph Neise and have also been altered on several occasions. The big thing is 'ere.

Finally - it is THE END of the Second part of Crabcake. You can see the whole thing here and the first part here. It looks to me that there will be plenty of temporal shenanigans to keep things interesting. Hoorah.

DID ANYONE SPOT THE FORESHADOW ON THE FIRST PAGE?

Finally - Dr WTF?! is in it's third spankingly naughty month and is shaping up to be something rather special. Writers have mostly done their beavering and it is the artists turn to MUCK ABOUT. Last fortnight's blog carries the dirty details - but I'm pleased to announce the involvement of the Engimatic Dr X who is as enigmatic as he is tall - and he's so enigmatic I don't even know how tall he is. So make of that what you will.

Further updates in two weeks - may your late October days pass with pleasant smells and warm things to touch.

ART BE HERE
SOUND BE HERE

RESURRECTION RABBIT BE HERE

O - x

Get Back Into Rockin'

...IT'S YOUR ONLY WAY OUT.

You find me a week late. Sorry about that - You know how it is. Hanging about, going to beautiful places with beautiful women and generally buggering about.

It's been one hell of a three week period though. Thrills, spills and A HELL OF A LOT OF ILLUSTRATION. Man I'm slow - there's barely owt to show for it. Toward the end there'll also be an anthology update where I tell all you lovely folks what the deal is with my pet project DOCTOR WTF?!

Anywhom.

Yes - the jolly Crabcake crew are back in town. Unfortunately the Emperor Gary is forced to sentence them to death. This is the kind of hijink that can accidentally lead to death. Although not in all cases - for instance I was once torn apart by rabid dogs and here I sit as plain as the day on my face. Curious. A good place to catch up on Crabcake is at THIS LOCATION. Alternatively just glare at the obnoxiously patchy colours at THIS LOCATION

Those two images were doodled by me in a local jazz cafe whilst watching people improvise. It was bleeding lovely to do some freehand scrawling for once - maybe that shows. You can oggle at larger versions here and here. Also pay some mind to my one link into that wonderful world - Mr Richard "I'm Quite Lovely" Jenkins.

- This is possibly (not to oversell it) the most important thing I've ever drawn up to this point. The full details of it lie at the deviant art page but it's basically a tribute to Carlos Ezquerra. Co-creator of Judge Dredd and Strontium Dog - cancer survivor and the most inspirational and hardworking comic artist in the modern history of comics. I fucking love him basically - and I was incredibly chuffed to contribute to a fan comic dedicated to him. The whole thing will show up eventually and I'll make a note to remind you when it does. It blows my mind, featuring some of my favourite artists from the small press scene (mssrs Ghostpockets, Feist, Kevin Levell etc) and also some of my comic heroes (D'Israeli, Bryan Talbot etc). Yikes. I'm not saying much - I'm just saying that it legitimises every drawing I've ever done.

Yep. This is the sound of me selling out. Well - no, not really - it's an advert for a local credit company that my mother works at. If that's selling out then what ISN'T?! Nice to do some proper "freelance" work as it were and I'm grateful for the opportunity. See the full thing here.

Yes glorious children yes. The time is at hand - and do you know what time that is? IT'S SURREALIST DOCTOR WHO BASED COMIC ANTHOLOGY TIME.

I've got together a gorgeous roster of talented artists and glorious writers whom I now owe several pints each. Or will do - when the thing is done. Logo above designed (to a point - still needs an exclamation mark) by Matt Brown.

artists

Cathy Smedley

Chris Nolan-Rennie

Cthulouis/Louis

Davey Cavendish

Filip Roncone/Flip-R

James Feist

Liam Byrne

Mike Bunt

Mitahane

Neil Roche/Bhuna

Me

writers

Adam Page

Arron Ferguson

Derek Hammill/The Enigmatic Doctor X

Emperor

Greg M

Jasmine Woods

The Legendary Shark

Matt Brown/Chilipenguin (Also the logo)

Oscar M/Ozebane

Martin Collins

Matthew McLaughlin/Locusts of Death

Richmond Clements

Rob Phillips

Van Dom

one-offs/other

Alex Ronald (Contributing a picture, back cover?)

Carl Pearce (Contributing a cover)

Simon Gough/Spidermanfan2099 (Potential colour)

Still looking for more artists - who will materialise shortly I'm sure.

Like that spaceship. You know the one.

There should be further updates on the 12th of October. Be lucky - !

ART BE HERE
NOISE BE HERE

LAVA CRAB BE HERE

O - x

Bladecatcher

welcome to the beginning of the end.

This fortnight's theme is, without a doubt, the good lady Jazz. My colourful confidante without whom life would be a lot less ... Jazzy. It was her birthday in the last week and so I done various things to tickle her fancy. She's also now taking photographs and spewing phenomenal poetry which you can observe over at at the old DeviantArt.

So - I took one of her MORE DISTURBING poems and gave it a bit of a drawing. Lovely isn't it? Lovely and DISTURBING. Here's to you former birthdayJazz. You can see the bigger thing over on ... you know. Whatever it's called.

....did you think I was ever coming back? Those things, those time-consuming things, were all for The Sci-Fi and Fantasy Society of Sheffield - presided over by young lady I'm fairly familiar with. Lovely. They're designed to be stuck about and put on and off and within and without - so - I HOPE THEY USE THEM WELL. The full parade can be seen at this location.

This final wee beastie is the head portion of an Exquisite Corpse jam (as well as being a rather fat tribute to auld Jack Kirby). The other two portions of the body FOR THERE ARE ONLY TWO will be down by the right honourable Carl Pierce and Mr Ghost P Ockets himself. Will post the results when it's complete. Fantabulous.

The other news - as signalled by the TARDIS above that I haven't yet drawn is my new anthology venture which will include such big names as Richmond Clements, James Feist & Alex Ronald AND MAYBE YOU - message me if you want to get involved. It's non-profit, and it's all about the majestic alternate universe Doctors that may or may not exist. Here's the inside skinny. Jaysus.

Will return on the 20th with much more (including new Crabcake for certain as well as exciting stories FROM BEYOND SOMERSET) - !

ART BE HERE
NOISE BE HERE
WALRUS PARLIAMENT BE HERE

O - x

Motor City Is Burning

...best get at least four extinguishers. Don't you think?

Well the epic gate saga is now over, the wound heals dryly and the gate has since been drunkenly re-conquered. It is not the boss of me. DO YOU HEAR THAT, GATE - ?

YOU

ARE NOT

THE BOSS OF ME.

So there's that. I wish I had more art for you this fortnight but due to a secret secret project that soaked up a lot of my time like a sponge (very worthwhile too - you will hear about it and see it soon I assure you) I've produced very few non-secret works. Additionally there's a new chapter of the 'Nothingman' saga completed and ready for your little earlingtons on the Crazy Fox Machine myspace. It's only got five lonely plays - go and add some numbers to that why don'tchye - ?

This is a segment of a much larger drawing in unprovoked tribute to my favourite ever band ever CHROME HOOF. Who are not only glorious but COMPLETELY GLORIOUS. I urge you to stick their frenetic timings and shardy punkprogdoomdisco into your head and dare you not to be swept up in a frenzy of bopping and agreeable headshakes. Hoof hoof hoof hoof - need I say more?

This one was, for a few weeks, secret - and depicts a scene from a saga so indescribable that you can only follow these green words and go and see for yourself. Dave Thomson = wow. See the bigger bugger in yonder artbarn.

Drawn by the always-excellent James Feist - a rising-star in small press comics (not my words, gentlemen but those of Pete Wells). Coloured quite patchily by your friendly neighbourhood hole-hand. It depicts Hellboy and his BPRD comrades - fighting the supernatural with the supernatural for...WHY NIGH ON FIFTEEN YEARS IF NOT MORE THAN THAT. A bigger version can be seen at this location.

Finally - a Feral Gargantua jam (join us, join us - !) about 'Careers in Space'. Whereby I decided that only worthy profession to spacify was my own - archaeology. So here they are - a hapless archaeologist with their own wee Portakabin attached to them lovingly via oxygen hose. They trowel away at a mighty alien visage and groan at the endless laser context sheets aching to be filled out. It's a noble occupation. The bigger picture is here.

That's it then - I hope you've had as a good a fortnight last as I have - watching my wounds seal up and wondering if soon a face will poke through - and GAZE INTO MY OWN.

"What do you want?!" I'll stammer - watching it's beady eyes bloodily blink.

"I've come to warn you - " It begins in a shrill tone " - not to follow the pointing finger of the arm of Engon Falgrax - !"

Before it has time to explain I bludgeon it senseless on the edge of my desk.

"Sod you handbeast. Sod you."

ART BE HERE

AUDIO BE HERE

THE LAST SANCTUARY OF THE ELECTRIC MONKS BE HERE

O - x

I Feel Like Makin' Love

...it would be infinitely preferable to what I'm currently doing. Which is as tragically silly as it is hard to type.

The saga, or "gategate" as the media is currently calling it, is a very new one and can be adequately defined by the diagram above. I split open my left hand in a gloriously nerdy way on the large, blunt spikes of a fearsome gate. Whilst intoxicated on scrumpy no less. Eight stitches and a minor panic later and you find me in the position below.

I feel like Nightcrawler. So, no art this week (the last fortnight I've been working on secret secret projects anyway and this whole one-handed typing business is A RIGHT BORE) only injury. I'll return in a fortnight with healed hands and a bumper art special. Promise.

Live long and prosper - !

ART BE HERE

AUDIO BE HERE
DAN SHANDY BE HERE

THE WOUND BE HERE

O - x