Crabcake 3

Hello chaps - sorry for the long break in blogging BUT I HAVE BEEN BUSY.

Well - not busy, but y'know.

Busy.

Dr WTF?! Is coming along nicely (also if you click on the name there you can join in the Facebook group and keep track of it all - lots of lovely teaser images and the like). Do support us!

Don't NOT support us. No no no.

Anyway the primary reason I've come here today is to share with you what I've been up to. Crabcake 3.

Despite how it may appear I do have a plan. Well - no, I don't think any of us truly have a plan. I think the majority just bimble along like a hermit in a storm. There is no reality - only what we sculpt with our beautiful ignorant brains. What do you know about dermatology? Next to nothing I'm sure but some base their lives on it.

Sorry - what the fuck am I talking about. Carry on - ! Oh and don't forget my radio show is on every Friday from 8 to 9 pm - !

Sorry if these images are massive I can't think how else to do it -

May your gods go with you!

O x

Child of Babylon

...is what they used to call me. Was never sure why.

I lie - they used to call me Mr Mole because I look like a comical chubby cartoon mole. With fucking long hair.

This post will primarily be about DR WTF?! because DR WTF?! is the big story at the moment. What with FOUR - COUNT THEM - FOUR teasers up and about some very TANTALISING nuggets of glory. Or glorynuggets as I irritatingly just shorten'd.

First thought let me just get some very worthwhile little bits in about stuff I've been drawing lately. As that is, after all, what I do.

This first curious image is a coloured version of something the influential jazz pianist Monsieur Richard "Snakehips" Jenkins (a.k.a. The Jenk or King Jenko) doodled. There's not much to say about it apart from the fact that it's not a Beatle. Unless it's a Beatle.

This is the start of the BEST SAGA YOU'VE EVER HEARD ABOUT A GOAT THAT TRAVELS THROUGH HELL. How does he get there? What furry monstrosity rises from his surprised groin in the final panel? And who is the hidden dancer in the second page?! All these questions and four more will be answered in the next installment - ! See the bigger bugger here - or go and pay a visit to the writer and shower praise upon her.

This is an Ice Warrior. Simply an Ice Warrior. Larking about and doing all those things that Ice Warriors do.... strategically exploiting planets mainly.

Alright. On to the OBLIGATORY ANTHOLOGY UPDATE - I'll leave the new logo to do the talking.

WAPASSHHHH! Glorious eh? I'm humbled and forever grateful to the amazing Mike Carroll who put this together for me at extremely short notice. A dude of no small dudeness. WHO HAS HIS OWN WIKI PAGE. :O

So here we go - some previews and some kneeviews (eh?)

First - this is me and Chris Cronin - Thinking Outside the Box

Second - Oscar M & Louis Carter (Colours by Me) - Back to the Wreckage

Third - Matthew McLaughlin & Neil "Bhuna" Roche - Cosmic Excrement

Fourth - Emperor & Mike Bunt - The Secret of Comedy

Those are the official teasers - and here's some others I've got hold of recently....

Greg Meldrum & James Feist - Kitsch 'n' Sink

Jazz Woods & Liam "Ghostpockets" Byrne - Fear of the Dark

There are still nine other comics drifting into view and you can follow my tumblr or keep checking this thread for updates. By the next blog there will be an official website. Woool!

...why did I just exclaim wool?

=malcolmkirk.blogspot.com|utmccn I'VE THRILLED YOU SOMEHOW - !

ART IS HERE

NOISE IS HERE

O - x

Toughest Street in Town

...although ironically the toughest town I know IS Street. And it's a village.

Happy 2011 everyone - !! I'll be doing a YEAR REVIEW of 2010 in a bit and will be tap-dancing throughout using MY SPECIAL SKILLS.

New years was beautiful and I spent it with good humans staring at Glastonbury going nuts whilst chuckling into scrumpy. Christmas was a little subdued but as cosy as you could wish for without actually hugging a large rabbit in a warm cottage. All-in-all it makes return to the lonely cold of this empty house a little jarring - but I'll get by. I've still got some scrumpy after all!

Enough of this noise, on with the art!

..and this is the first page of the third part of Crabcake. It'll be a fictional nostalgia-filled part this month with lots of flashbacks to SHIT YOU NEVER DONE SEEN BEFORE. Also tons of continuity with things that NOBODY EVEN KNOWS ABOUT. I find that kind of stuff intensely orgasmic. Watch this space. Also go here - the bigger page is there.

A bit of an experiment this - I wanted to draw something a reminiscent of an eighteenth century painting where there's a gorgeous landscape and always some little bugger in there pointing or duelling or some shit. I've been assured this is because landowners wanted to show off their land although I always thought it was simply antiquarian-style hobby painters who felt sheepish about doing pure landscape. Anyway - far from gorgeous is my landscape - and pretty far off the original brief which was to portray these characters:

- The Blueshift Bombadier - Doctor Damastes

in any way that I fancied. This is how I fancied. Also it attracted some constructive criticism on Deviant Art which is pretty much the highest compliment you can get because it means people are paying attention. So I'm chuffed about that. Right all up in my face. Go here to see the big thing (oo err).

Now here's an odd one - this was for the superlative Mr Dirk Van Dom; a wordsmith of no small renown who put together a MASSIVE choose-your-own-adventure blog featuring this image and a ton of others for (and by) the forever-gorgeous folk over at 2000ad online. See the bigger thing here. Do give the game a go and give some love to those artists you find within!

A placemat done for a FAKEMAS (there was a hashtag on Twitter for it) meal at my place. Then I scanned it in and coloured it over the festive period whilst my sparkly girlfriend sat on my shoulder like a dove dropping bits of cheesy straw into my mouth. See the bigger thing here.

This duo of images are drawn for my main man Mr Roberto 'La Barba Hermosa' Phillips who turned ANCIENT the day before yesterday. Lawdy lawdy. The first was drawn by my good friend Sir Richard 'Subarashii' Denham and coloured by me - the second was done ENTIRELY by me and my soft doghands.

Right. Time for a little summary of my good bits and my new bits. I had two very proud moments this year -

The first is that I graduated in spectacular purple after a RELATIVELY inexpensive three years studying archaeology at Sheffield. I had a wonderful experience there and met some truly brilliant humans - and it was immensely sad and tremendously rewarding to finish it all.

The second is the image I drew and the subsequent goings on related to the Get Well Carlos Project. In which the colossally excellent Mark Howard put together AN ENORMOUS anthology of artists and writers to pay tribute to the one of the most influential artists in British comics - Mr Carlos Ezquerra - co-creator of Judge Dredd and easily the hardest-working comic creative in existence. Carlos had been diagnosed with lung cancer and motivated by his plight the comic was put together to remind him just how much we all respected him. Bizarrely we are now Facebook friends and I'm supremely glad to report that he's recovering - you can download the comic for free here or simply gaze apon his joyful Spanish face reading the comic.

I'm just one of several hundred creators in it, but to see how happy it made him made more satisfied than a dog in a big cake. NOM NOM NOM CAKEY DOGGY CAKE.

Where was I?

Oh yes. SO THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO IN 2011.

- Dr WTF?! (An anthology that'll sound a bit like this "BLAM WOOOO YEAAHHHH" in your head)

Also I now have a glorious script to draw courtesy of Mr Christov Cronin and the whole thing is sealed and buckled down and ready for a Spring appearance. VERY EXCITING.

- Flaubert St Cloud (A comic by me and milady about a GOAT THAT FUCKING TRAVELS THROUGH HELL SAY WHAAAAT)

- THE ARM OF ENGON FALGRAX which will surface soon like a kraken from the depths. A story about two fellows and their quest to ... follow a disembodied arm. Glory be.

- THE PUBLISHING OF CRABCAKE. Oh yes. It will be published. By me.

- THE ACTUAL MANIFESTATION OF CRAZYFOXMACHINE.CO.UK because a splash page saying 'coming soon' can only be exciting for so long.

- VARIOUS OTHER DEALIES AND THINGS THAT ARE FAINTLY UNOFFICIAL AT THE MOMENT. Ooooh vague and mysterious.

Right - That's quite enough. I'll be back to talk Dr WTF with extensive previews - as well as the first part of Flaubert St Cloud in the best part of a couple of weeks. Until then - have beautiful moments and positive thoughts and harsh harsh scrumpy.

ART BE HERE
AUDIO BE HERE

TUMBLR BE HERE (oh yeah that happened as well)

O - x

You Never Know

...when the nibbles will strike - !

Good day. It's been a positively thrilling three weeks since last I called into blog land. I don't want to spoil anything - BUT I DID GIVE BIRTH TO RACCOONS. Seven, whom I haven't yet named but I want to avoid the clichés (like the names of dwarves, deadly sins or base metals).

This is the title page for my new website which is being designed by my VERY OWN HERMANO. When it's complete it'll act as a gallery for all the bog standard art, exceptionally poorly designed audio AND FUCKING HOT COLLABORATIONS that I spew out on a tri-daily basis.

This image is for the centrepage for a new peace-centric newspaper published by positives and good-eggs from Sheffield. To see the bigger thing hop over to my new DevArt. Oh yeah; I have a new Deviant Art account. What was Metal-Truncator all about?! I wasn't called that anywhere else - ! What a loon.

This is for the exceptionally lovely people over at 2000ad online - every year they do an 'advent calender' thread where each day a member puts up amazing shit. It's totally fucking cool. What a lovely bunch. It depicts the good Doctor (or a vague approximation of him) being hijacked by D.R. & Quinch (ultraviolent slackers created by Alan Moore) . Bigger version. Forum version.

This is a bit of early concept stuff for a thing me and my lady are working on. It's about a goat. A goat that traverses the fictional realm of hell. That's his doctor up there. Bigger version.

A Christmas gift for a friend (and his special friend). Disgusting isn't it? YOU CAN'T HOLIDAY IN SPACE - THAT'S LUDICROUS. Full version.

Finally I re-designed Captain Scarlet for the glorious folk at Feral Gargantua (reading this and not involved? Go and get INVOLVED BOY). The topic was just sort of... generally Gerry Anderson's stuff but in the future. He looks horrible it's super rough and I hate it. OH WELL. Full thing here.

Yes it's that time again - ! A Dr WTF update - !!! Wooooooooo. I let you know with NO small lump in my throat that it's going very well and my latest acquisition is a potentially fucking ridiculous image from "snareser" and Simon Gough. Yikes. Below are all our stories (AND SOME MAGICAL PREVIEWS - courtesy of the artists)

Alan Holloway/Darren Stephens

Derek Hammill/Dan Cornwell

What Happens in Amsterdam...

House of Usher/Exilewood

Martin Collins/Dave Candlish

Synaptogenesis

Adam Page/Chris Nolan-Rennie

Dirk Van Dom/Nicholas Bannwath

Chronoleech

Emepror/Mike Bunt

The Secret of Comedy

Greg Meldrum/James Feist

Kitsch 'n' Sink

Jazz Woods/Liam Byrne

Fear of the Dark

John Whiteley/Conor Boyle

Berlin

Matthew McLaughlin/Neil Roche

Cosmic Excrement

Oscar M/Cthulouis

Back to the Wreckage

And that is that. EXCITED YET? I certainly am.

See you.... potentially after that festive thing that's happening. Good luck with that.

ART BE HERE

NOISE BE HERE

FURTIVE LEMON BE HERE

O - x

Call Me the Breeze

"And I ain't hidin' from nobody

Nobody's hidin' from me

Oh, that's the way it's supposed to be."

Howdy pardners - it's time for another of my bi-monthly arty warty updatelydoodlies. What I've been drawing and other such exciting/trivial doodly protuberances. For those who are fond of my words I've set up a wordpress page and have uploaded some lengthy scripty story type things that you can browse AT YOUR SUPREME LEISURE.

Just first a little nugget of non-art rambly - tis about a lady called Lisa Robinson who stood in front of a train recently to prove a point about loutish football hooligans and how ordinary people should stand up for their right to go about in peace. It was a bloody lovely tale and it lifted my heart and mind. If you want to hear the details from herself then CLICK ON THESE CAPITALS or just move on and try to be aware that the world is largely populated by glorious individuals and not bloated ignorant shitbagels.

Here is a promotional image for my latest audio adventure. You can hear it over at the Crazyfoxmachine Myspace or on Facebook . Tis a relatively interesting little tale of time travel and the goings and doings of the fellow above. Get a larger look at the picture here.Nice. This image is an obligatory bit of Scott Pilgrim fanart. Although interestingly I haven't seen the thing. Or read the book. Or driven across Poland. This has received a nice bit of recognition from those who see this EXACT SEEN ON A DAILY BASIS PLAYED OUT AROUND THE PARKS OF THIS COUNTRY. No, I'm not trying to make a point about anything beyond the juxtaposition of sparkling pop-culture trendies. GOOD NIGHT.

The world-famous EXTREMELY HARDCORE Axe Cop versus the living exponent of shooting people for mostly justified reasons. Pictures surfaced recently of Mr Karl Urban in his Dredd costume. Some people were annoyed but I took a nice step backwards, had a slice of cake and enjoyed it. They could have made him into a fucking giant turnip or some such balls.

This is a bit of colouring I did FOR NO REASON for Mr Danbo John who didn't specifically ask for it. Gaze into the shining helmet of Dredd! Ooo err.

This one was just a wee re-interpretation of a Nikolai Dante panel in 2000ad. No offence to prolific and beardtacular John Burns who originally drew the character Konstantin's buggered in eye - but I FELT IT NEEDED TO BE AT LEAST FORTY PERCENT MORE BUGGERED. Mr Simon Fraser (Dante co-creator) did me the great honour of giving it a look which had me swollen of noggin for many many hours.

Another one that swelled-up my braincase was this one. Drawn for the influential artgod Mr Carlos Ezquerra - whose birthday it was last week - he was kind enough to COMMENT ON IT on Facebook. Which I'm not saying is a bit deal - it's JUST A MASSIVE FUCKING DEAL. Bless your tasche Mr Ezquerra, may it see a thousand more birthdays - !

This is a little digisketch of milady. Long may she continue being a kooky cat and creepy crab.

Here - drawn for the 2000ad board-type place - where many fine and beautiful artists go to frolic in the glow of enthusiasts, spammers and trolls. Tis Wulf Sterhammer versus Hammerstein. Tis Hammertime.

Of course it's Freddie Mercury as an eighties Hulk Hogan figure. Of course it is.

Here is an affectionate partial stickman parody of the writings of John Smith. Ultra pretentious he is but clearly quite a dude.

Okay - that's your lot. Go on, go away and try and find a piece of happiness in this fragmented morally ambiguous world swirling with madmen and glorypigs. I love all you terrible beautiful people - and will see you again sooner than you think.

ART BE HERE
AUDIO BE HERE
GANGSTADOG BE HERE

O - x

Insignificance

"It's instilled to want to live.

Bombs dropping down.

Please forgive our hometown

in our insignificance."

Now that filthy bit of quoting is out of the way it's time to get on with the SEVERAL DAYS OVERDUE blog. What have I been up to? Where have I been? What travels and exotic sights and glorious things have I seen?

I'm not here to provide you with that information. I'm not here for opinion - just made-up words and sounds and images that spill out of me like so much wretched vomit. ENJOY.

Bender and K9 go out for a stroll in the infinite white of purgatory. This was for the TV Sidekicks challenge on Feral Gargantua - the larger thing can be seen here. The inks of this were given to my lovely pals in Brighton town so they can gaze upon K9's metal doghead forevermore.

Drawn by the astounding and PERSISTENTLY LOVELY Liam GhostPockets - master of the fine cheekbone and the kind-hearted networking. It has been commented that the most right-on part of this is the big purple bit. Which I put in for lols. The larger version is UP IN HERE YO.

This one has become sad for me - as auld Stephen Fry threw a bit of a wobbler and stormed off Twitter. Both him and Mr Ralf "Dunwich" Kahlert are like memories now - sweet whispering internet ghosts that once were so lovely and now are enormous in their absence. May the winds of time bring them back to us. Big here.

A logo for a glamtacular curly-haired metalman and his company. I wish him many epic and metallic travels amongst the spandex-laiden wailing guitar fields of Somerset. The big yowl is hencewards.

This is simply Crazy Fruit on the loose. That is the nature of it. Wholly inspired by the wickedly whacky Mr Bobbymono.

Uh-oh. It's the time of the season! For halloween japery and VERY responsible pisstakes of certain vacuous vampire franchises. Written by the superbly silly Dave Roberts, letters by Malcolm Kirk and the entire comic (featuring work from many right-on dudes of the small press realm) is AVAILABLE FREE FROM THIS SITE - see the BIG THING HERE

Finally a little something colour'd for my dear ally Dr James 'Dark Jimbo' Feist. Lord of the realm, chapper of the chaps. The lines are by him clearly. FEAST YOUR FACE.

Finally - an update on our DOCTOR WTF?! project.

Creators not submitted/matched up

Arron Ferguson

Cathy Smedley

Chilipenguin

Emperor

Exilewood

Flip-R

Mike Bunt

Richmond Clements

Matched up waiting for scripts

Adam Page & Chris Nolan-Rennie

Martin Collins & Davey Cavendish

Rob Phillips & Owen Watts

Art in progress

Dirk Van Dom & Mitahane - "Chronoleech"

Emceehamster & Darren Stephens - Doctor v Davros

The Enigmatic Dr X & Darren Cornwell - "What Happens in Amsterdam..."

Greg M & DarkJimbo - "Kitsch 'n' Sink"

Jazz Woods & GhostPockets - "Fear of the Dark"

J.M. Whiteley & UncleFester - "Berlin"

Locusts of Death & Bhuna - "Cosmic Excrement"

Ozebane & Cthulouis - "Back to the Wreckage"

Other duties

Carl Pearce - Front Cover

Alex Ronald - Potential Back Cover

Colouring Duties - Simon Gough

There. Excited are ye - ? Good. Reading this and haven't finished your script?! Then GO GO GO GO GO GO!

I'll return in a fortnight with more gaudy colouring and extremely unimpressive art -

TA TA

ART BE HERE
NOISE BE HERE

HAMSTER VERSUS GOD BE HERE

O - x