Grim Utter Death

...is a pleasant way to live. Hello folks, just glaring accusingly at some sources *grumble iron age transitions in Europe* sorry you're going to get that a lot this week. I'm doing about seven billion things at any one time so BEAR WITH ME. Life dis kolor - art I dis kolor, right?

Noble intent has robbed me of my life this week so this colour will not be used to it's full extent, although I will drop a quick shout in for Activities Alan - on the off-chance that anyone from Sheffield Uni is reading this and undecided who to vote for come Tuesday - I can't recommend Al higher. He's a hard worker and really cares about his work. So, y'know - FUCKING DO IT.

If it isn't glaringly obvious, it's elections time up here in Sheffield - and basically everybody has been freaking out - there's been smear campaigns and banner destroyin' sessions and all manner of ridiculously unnecessary shit that should be left to real politicians to waste their time with. Speaking of, the Tories are pressuring the BBC to shut down their only good radio stations - add your support against this lunacy at this group.

So here we ART. - This week Dan Shandy and Ron Lamp were on Forge Radio, and it was moderately funny although Dan did come across as a bit of a shit. Rumour has it they'll finally get their-long awaited album out this year and I, for one, will be eagerly awaiting it.

The second page of Crabcake was polished off after my blog last week, and I urge you to go have a gander at a larger version over at DeviantArt - because I spent a little bit of time colouring it and I'm rather fond of it and all the other reasons that you should go. Below are two pieces of colouring I did for the unparalleled Wizard-y Joe and his UNDOUBTEDLY WARPED MIND.

Again - larger versions at DeviantArt. If you have the stomach for them. Final news this week is that I was invited by the SIMILARLY DISTURBED MIND OF MR GHOSTPOCKETS to a sketch-jam group on aforementioned Deviant-themed art site. Feral Gargantua it is called, populated by a great deal of incredibly good artists, myself not included. The first challenge was to stomach the lesser-seen Beastmaster film and produce some fanart - and the second, to visualize the Feral Gargantua creature as your mind sees it. These can be seen below, and larger at that site. That one.

Right - that's me done. I'll see you on the DEADLINE-BOTHERIN' DATE of March 7th. Shudder. Shuddery wuddery. All you'll probably get is me going "OOooooerrr" and nothing else.

If you're lucky.

Art is Here

Audio is Here

O - x

Tornado of Souls

I have returned from my brief exile into the computerless blog wilderness that so afflicted my late January/early February period. In a tornado if you will...of souls?

Now - I considered briefly stopping my beautiful system of life being in this colour and art being in this one - but it seems to work fairly pleasingly so I will continue.

See? It's like having hot herbs rubbed in your face. Now I went to see and do many a-thing in the weeks I've been debloggified, but clearly the most amazing was my transition into a goggle-eyed follower of STEWART LEE who is without a doubt the greatest stand-up I've ever seen. Like a good little consumer I went and bought all of his merchandise. All of that merchandise he has. So now I proudly sport my Stewart Lee handbag and musket-cleaner.

Too right. What a waste of a Sunday hour. Aside from Stewart Lee - the weeks went by relatively unhindered by event. Save for the obvious Asterixfest that was Valentines Day. So that leaves only ONE FONT COLOUR-CHANGIN' CATEGORY LEFT - - !

Ouch. That's massive - whatever happened to my scaling options?! Anyway, yes - above you and heavily truncated to the right (it's okay you can click on it, DON'T BE AFRAID) is the debut page of my strip 'Crabcake'. What a whacky adventure this will no doubt be. Tis the fault of those who havenae requested strips out of me that I'm churning out a fairly uninteresting one myself.

Below you will see some colouring I've done for folks - namely a Mr Rustyoldtown and a Mr Darkjimbo who reside on Deviantart and can be found by clicking their names. The last picture was one of mine coloured by the 'forementioned Rustyoldtown and seems to be a cottage being attacked by an east-end thug.

You can see all of that bigger/smaller at my art site which is linked below and at the side and on my face on certain days of the week. Just a quick note to say that this coming Saturday, Dan Shandy and Ron Lamp will be hosting my normal radio show. This revolutionary new band can be heard at their myspace.

Well - that's all for this week. Let's hope the buzzards of inconvenience don't peck off my fingers and prevent me from writing the next entry - and if you're bored of my fragment sentences and my lazy combowords then check out Bobbie Phillips' Blog - which is a great deal wittier and more considered than this nonsense. Catch you on the terrifyin' 28th ;)

Art is Here

Audio is Here

O - x

Until Man Exists No More

...the laptop will prevail.

Or rather -

it fully won't. The thing bloody bust on me three weeks into it's existence which caused much aggravation and not a little cursing.

Fuckbaskets was one I recall. So here I sit on a borrowed computer wasting my precious days away from a life-sucking machine writing on another life-sucking machine. That sucks life. Life is in this colour - art is in this one.

Not much occurred in the last week - save for the monotonous WAITING and the pointless purchase of a number of items to aide my boredom that have

A - proved themselves to be useless

B - not arrived and have therefore yet to prove their uselessness

Used this time to consume early Star Trek films and come to the conclusion that the franchise is a bloated waste of time without DeForest Kelley or James Doohan. That's it.

Sigh. The reasons for my laptop break were probably numerous, although in the hypothetical world of the Obrain I suspect it was a violent reaction to my tortured production of Doctor Who fanart which my last blog of two weeks ago so sleazily hinted at. A tiny preview image can be seen below and the whole thing can be accessed BY CLICKING ON THIS VERY CAPITALIZED SENTENCE.

Right that's it for this one - quite short but next week will hopefully bring the joys of laptop and pre-term HORRORglory.

Art is here

Audio is here

O - x

My Robot Is Disturbed

...wouldn't you be?

- Welcome to the pre-Sheffield return blog. As I sit freezing and staring at a ridiculous view of a snow-coated Glastonbury, I look back and remember ALL THE FUN TIMES I HAD over the last three weeks or so. There were many. I'm not going to reminisce here because I'm not that kind of ludicrous dullard.

Safe to say, the country has fallen into LITERAL CHAOS.

...this is the image that came up when I typed 'Snow Chaos' into Google. Who the fuck is this guy? I can only imagine that he is the sole reason for the woes we're experiencing due to the adverse weather, him and his accomplice; FrostyJohn and his evil evil evil jaycloth scarf.

This week I mainly travelled to Portsmouth, home of my absurd and glorious girlfriend and apparantly NOTHING ELSE bar packs of roaming youths yielding projectiles made from the very precipitation that still surrounds us. Scoundrels. Still without scanner so the numerous images I've drawn this week will not be visible for a few days yet. I'm drawing a Doctor Who fan comic - THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN DRIVEN TO. Will FrostyJohn claim my originality as well as my fightin' lamprey?

That's him. Not pretty, is he? Not too bothered that FrostyJohn might claim him actually, saves me looking at that mug all bloody day.

I've also been planning the second part of my FANTASY EPIC so go takes a gander at the first before it's RADICALLY UPDATED WITH A PART SO STUNNINGLY ADVANCED IT WILL MAKE THE FIRST SEEM LIKE THE RANTINGS OF A NEANDERTHAL SOMEHOW TRANSMITTED THROUGH TIME.

I'll see you on the 17th for some ORIGINAL ARTWORK and some sentences that don't inevitably end IN CAPITAL LETTERS. Stay alert and watch out for FrostyJohn.

- Pre Doctor-Who Fancomic Art here -

- Fantasy Epic and Other Rants here -

O - x

Bad Boys

...is like the opposite of my life. Literally exactly the opposite. Isn't that weird?

So welcome to the first blog of the FUCKING YEAR and I don't know why but I've not been at all tempted to catalogue my greatest experiences of the last one. Things happened, some things didn't. That was about it really.

Given the hectic nonsense that was the last seven days I haven't produced A SINGLE SCRAP of art - so there's that. Although since before Christmas I've been working on a super secret project to give to my main man Robbo on his special day (of birth) - but it's super secret and infringes a number of quite horrendous copyrights so I don't think I could upload it anywhere. You'll basically just have to bump into me at force and demand to hear it.

Now - I don't want to turn this into an horrendous opinion rag so I shan't bitch on and on about the media which has clambered into my eyes over the last week (namely the regeneration of a certain alien menace and the invasion of a certain plant-like species) - although I will say this.

...I'm just saying I'm personally a little disappointed. Not pessimistic though. Never.

I saw the transition of the year take place through cider-fogged eyes and Prince-clogged ears at a 'space funk' evening in Glastonbury. The image below describes it better than my fragmented sentences ever could.

Wow. So - basically it happened. That happened.

There will be more STUFF next week. A contributing factor to the lack of art has been my lack of a bleedin' workin' scanner down in the South. I would doodle with the graphics tablet but I'm JUST NOT THAT GOOD YET. Jesus Christ leave me be.

There hasn't been nearly enough hyperlinks in this post. Although I get very sick of blogs that have themselves adding emphasis and a useless picture for every other fucking word. I will however link you to what I believe is the album of the decade. It's on Spotify so if you don't have Spotify you'll never KNOW WHAT IT IS. Isn't that fucked up?

THIS IS THE ALBUM OF THE DECADE

Oh well. Right that's me done. Gonna go off and watch Generation Kill and fanny about. See you on the 10th for some pre-Sheffield returning Glastonbury MUSINGS.

Art is here
Audio is here

O - x

Drinking Muddy Water

...is what made my mind INVERT. That's right ladies and gentlemen, Santa reached into his enormous sack of presents and pulled out an inverted bloody mind for me this Christmas.

What is it like?

You may naively ask. It is like the image you will see when you click on this sentence.

Only a bit more badly drawn. I'll ignore the red that represents life this week as it really isn't worth going into at all. Mysterious? I wish.

So instead I'll press on in valiant artistic green that raises above my new invert-o-brain. Firstly I finally managed to finish the AMAZING FANTASY SAGA that has been sitting unfinished on no less than two separate laptops. It sounds a little like this and I urge you to check it out. If that's not enough persuasion there's a swanky promotional image that took me all manner of minutes.

Sweet, eh? Yeah. Also for Christmas old saint Nick and all his FUCKING WARPED GOBLIN ASSISTANTS (my brother) got me a graphics tablet and I used the oppurtunity to experiment with different colouring styles. The one below is of that most majestic of men; the president of the galaxy.

Quoth the man:

"You've been in the vortex?"
"...You saw me kid"
" - and you saw the whole infinity of creation?"
" - the lot baby, it's a real neat place y'know"
"...and you saw yourself in relation to it all?"
"yeah, yeah, yeah"
" - and what did you experience?"
"It just told me what I knew all the time - I'm a really great guy - didn't I tell you, baby?

...I am ZAPHOD BEEBLEBROX!"

- wait, this is the end. No reviews of the year? No 'greatest gigs' or 'best albums' or 'grooviest films' or 'funkdangliest DVDs' or 'randazzliar'd fantillions'?!?!?!

No. I enjoy making lists but I don't see the point in doing them at all. Plus I'm going to go and cradle my new invertmind and hope it LETS ME FUCKING LIVE at some point.

Cryptic? I wish.

See you IN THE FUTURISTIC YEAR OF 2010 on the FUTURISTIC DAY of the 3rd of January.

Art is here
Audio is here

O - x

Mountains

This is about as festive as I get - here are some lovely pictures. AND LO - A GOLDEN HORSE DOTH RIDE NEARBY.

Can you see it?

No I didn't think so. Enjoy these X-Men I did for the living embodiment of Jazz.

A bigger version of the four of them can be seen below and AT THIS LOCATION

- There will be stuff happening before the Christmas, and it will be this sodding audio thing. Oh yes, that thing. So be checking myspace and deviantart and things and no doubt you'll see it.

Apologies for the lack of different colours - will return for proper on the festive 27th ;)

O - x